talk talk blah blah YAP YAP 🗣️🗣️🗣️

On yap yap yap culture and some thoughts and feelings about this point in life.

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Far right makes gains in Germany, France
Center Holds, but the Far Right Still Wreaks Havoc
Green party losses in EU elections
Not to worry you but…I’m worried about this! Which stands in contrast to the elections in Mexico and India. What does this mean for the states? I have no idea but this was me on Sunday night.

Snap Election in France Sets Off a Wild Week
French right ditch leader over far-right alliance deal
French leftwing parties form ‘Popular Front’
The biggest mess went to France, where both sides are imploding in relation to Macron’s snap election — which are very trendy these days!! What a great pre-Olympic show.

Weakened Leaders of the West Gather
G7 Summit Look Weaker Than Ever
And, despite all this, the G7 summit happened and was a showcase of bedraggled global politics that seems to signal the…start of a big change. A silver lining? This picture of Rishi Sunak and Giorgia Meloni.

Gen Z who supported Biden turn against him
Again: I have no idea what will happen in November, nor will I make any predictions. I do think the non-commuting of Hunter’s sentence is inspired (but will do nothing).

Pope Repeats Gay Slur
Such a nasty girl!

Sandy Hook Survivors on Trauma
“Sandy Hook survivors sat down”
I feel like this should have been bigger news but the Sandy Hook kids…graduated from high school.

State Dept rolls out online passport renewal
So you know!

Lawmakers move to automate Selective Service
Trump’s orbit muse about mandating military
Talk about the draft and mandatory service is brewing.

Pentagon ran anti-vax campaign to incite fear of China
It’s easy to forget that countries are always beefing, constantly fucking with each other in ways we may never know, until you read shit like this.

Entry-Level Struggle, Senior Staff Miss Promotions
This is real — and we talked about this office constipation back in February!

Alito’s Wife Complains About Pride Flag
As I texted to my sister, this is my father. Far right Catholics must be stopped!

Sony purchases Alamo Drafthouse
Tubi cashes in on the value of free
If you need further proof about what we talked about in Tuesday’s interview, here you go.

Greece closes Acropolis in heatwave
Extreme, long heat wave to sweep US
Oof. It’s not even technically summer yet!

There’s this hat I keep seeing people wear here in Barcelona. I don’t think it’s an international phenomena, but it’s a product designed to bait tourists into buying them. They’re a simple trucker hat marked with a white patch made by the American brand Goorin Bros. The patch has an animal on it. There is text by the animal, usually right above it. The text does and does not describe the animal, as it’s often lewd, jokey, or silly: Ass, cock, rascal. Kid, killer, cash. This phenomena isn’t about this place, it isn’t even the mark of a trip: it’s just nonsense that you see, that you buy, that you tie to your really fun trip to Barcelona, yeah, it was great because no one really works there and tapas are so fun and they say their Ss with a lisp: it’s an accessory to “that.” It’s a curious cultural article. It’s just talking to talk, staring to stare, the easing off the gas pedal as you pass an accident, to ogle a potential tragedy when you should be minding your own business. It’s making noise to fill silence, when no one needs to be saying anything. It’s a needless object bought out of fake-need. Vacation brain, as I call it, a state of inebriation that sees money and taste and better judgment sucked out after your transcontinental lobotomy of flight. Something you get and do and share “just because.”

Increasingly, the world is in this state. See the sights, take the takes. The Rihanna song “Work” but the word “work” is replaced with “yap”: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP he said me haffi YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP. I yap, therefore I am. Do you yap? Are you bumping that? Should we do a little key? Should we have a little line? “Taylor Swift dropped three UK only album versions to block Charli XCX from number one”; however “Taylor Swift may have captured the charts, but Charli XCX captured the zeitgeist.” But it’s really “Sabrina Carpenter has the song of the summer. But Charli xcx has the world” and yet “Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan’s pop stardom feels so satisfying.” Do you know what I mean? “Taylor Swift’s early years — by the people who knew her.” Okay. Have you considered “I finally befriended my idol Tavi Gevinson. Would it fall apart over Taylor Swift?” Well, but I think — you get it. Talking to talk. Takes that take from you. What is the modern world without blah blah blah-ing? What is the world without noise? “Jimmy Carter no longer awake every day.” “Chucky, queer icon?” “Pop go the earbuds,” we tell Gen A, to which they respond “Skibidi toilet will be mine yeah ohio gyatt rizz rizzlers on my mind yeah.” You’re not sigma! Maybe AI has the answer? Maybe it’s in the soldiers sleeping together or it being your birthday but no one remembering or the little boy is only 1 year old or the saddest little penis begging for money. Add The Weeknd to it and a human-made photo winning an AI photo contest…and we may finally reach the sublime!

These things are all online but, like the tourist hat I mentioned, this sort of mania is leaking. This mumble culture, talk-to-talk culture means so much noise is created that we can’t quite make sense of what’s happening around us. Exhibit A: the European rightward push, which “came out of nowhere” but is the result of mumbling about immigration which turned into actual yelling (that the left doesn’t hear, that pushes the pendulum further in the other direction as the center becomes more fascist). This is and isn’t related to something like overtourism, as more flights mean more people traveling, more mumbling about your amazing trip to Italy means travel records worldwide being broken as English creeps into more places, which means more and more people disrupting places they shouldn’t be, making people in Italy mad and people in Ibiza mad and people in Japan mad: wanting to see something with your own eyes means blocking out people who are just trying to live. There’s also the increasingly panoptic work world, where your bosses watch you wherever you are thanks to your computer and, whether working or not, some people get fired for “pretending” to work. You have to yap to survive, it seems.

It’s a lot! This is in many ways the over-stuffed experience of the internet, of advertising products and buying what you don’t need, becoming real: the yap to noise to gluttony pipeline. I talk and talk and yap and yap every so often about there being too much of everything and it feels like “all this” is leaking out of the computer, where the scribbling noise means actual, literal confusion and frustration. The yelling gets louder and louder, it seems, as a distraction to — What? — work and life and responsibility. The sadnesses of the world, of the everyday. Yes, discourse can drive real-world conversations and sales. I get it: marketing teams are people too! But at some point it feels disrespectful to being, as the song goes faster and faster until we’re all vomiting on each other. Such is life? Such is life. YAP YAP YAP — then you tune out or die. You are what you yap, and you can get a silly hat to prove it now.

Trixie Mattel on Taking a Break
This is a story of the week, in that it really captures how Trixie has worked her ass off to get where she is — and that doing so means one needs to take a break or they will literally die (see above). And, if you love Trixie, you’ll love this.

A Thread of Expansion and Love
Pitti Uomo was this week and I really feel like we don’t talk enough about how good Marine Serre is. In my dream closet, it is all her clothes and Eckhaus Latta and Sunflower and Sunnei and S.S. Daley. 

Isn’t that . . . female?
My literary angels, we received a blessing this week: new writing from Patricia Lockwood, via a surveying of A.S. Byatt’s work.

Denmark recalls instant noodles: too spicy
I’m crying.

Welch’s Has a Canned Cocktail Line
"Pivoting from grape juice to alcohol"
This is like when Edible Arrangements pivoted to edibles. Everyone is desperate!

Man to Sue Apple After Not-Actually-Deleted Texts
Am I crazy? Or is this man right? “If you are told a message is deleted, you are entitled to believe it’s deleted,” he said. Granted, they were texts about his infidelities. Too bad he didn’t wait for the new update.

Minimize Your Exposure to Microplastics
While microplastics continue to trend (Oy.), but a new trend is emerging: people sharing videos of produce that has the texture of plastic. There’s the plastic banana, the plastic blueberries, the plastic avocados, the plastic watermelon: it’s a strange, concerning phenomena that is certainly spiking conspiracists. This is probably some runoff of modified foods, but would be funny (Bad.) if it actually is what happens when enough microplastics pollute ecosystems: everything takes on the quality of petroleum.

“WARNING for glasses”
"Chipotle's CEO"
The second post is unrelated but to prove a trend: these Wicked, infinity helix sideways eight glasses are spreading and they’re so painfully Millennial. Technically called the “Flozif” frames, they’re a big tell of age and interest and theater kidding.

And Now for My Next Trick
Have you been experimenting with TikTok?

The Fox Is Black

has — and it’s inspiring! One day I will make some, especially after seeing how someone like marg.mp3 is thriving.

I go to a reiki treatment. “What brings you here?” my practitioner (and friend) asks. I feel like I have a block, I tell them. There are so many things that I want to do and get done but nothing is happening, I tell them. I think about how I feel like a house that is out of order, that everything is everywhere — and yet I do nothing. I don’t tell them this. “Where do you think the block is?” I point to my temple. I feel like nothing is coming out, like it’s all stuck in here. They lay me down. They place hands on my face, my throat, my chest, my stomach. They rub oils on my skin. They sit with me. I think about these things I want to do, things I need to do. I think about friends that I have, who I don’t live near, who I do live near. I think about the friends I will have, the places I will meet them. I think about Bobby, my aunt and uncle. I feel like there is something in my throat, like I need to spit something out. My left arm hurts. Although we are contained by walls, I hear birds over the traffic. “It was your throat,” they tell me. “Your channels were closed, nothing in or out.” They tell me my system is very elegant, very sophisticated, that I am something special. They text me later in the day: “Your energy just cleansed me.”

People ask me for advice. Friends, family, clients, strangers on the internet. What should I do? I tell them. I give advice. I share. They yap and I yap. The world yaps together — and I write about it! I give and I give and I give. I go to bed tired and I wake up less tired. I don’t know very many people in the city I live in. Maybe if I met up with more people and did more things I would feel better? I think about this. Sometimes I take a fifteen minute nap during the day because I get too tired of looking at a screen. I don’t like napping, not because I don’t like sleeping but because I like being awake more. I like living and it feels like I’m cheating myself by not being awake. I never napped but started napping in the past two years. My aunt and uncle visited this week and, on Monday, I ran five miles at 8AM, I worked my job-job from 9:30AM to 3PM, I wrote a newsletter until 4PM, then my aunt and uncle came over to our apartment. We talked, filling in the blanks of each other’s stories. They told us about their trip and we told them about our life since moving. We get a cocktail and we continue talking. We get dinner and we continue talking. We get home after 11PM. I go to sleep before 1AM. I didn’t nap that day, I tell Bobby later in the week. I wasn’t even tired for a single moment. Why can’t every day be like that?

I collect things about life and death, but mostly about the potential of living. Things that make me feel feelings. Children who are near death see visions of animals, animals who guide them, who tell them they are loved, who tell them they are not alone. Did you know that? “Who do you miss the most?” a woman reads off of a card. “Aww!” She smiles. “My best friend. She died of AIDS — an AIDS related illness. I miss her so much. I love her.” A woman lays in a medical bed, propped up. Someone plays guitar by her side, a humble plucking of “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. “I’ve been afraid of changes,” she sings, hoarse. The guitarist reminds her of the words, singing with her. “Children get older,” they sing together. “I’m getting older too.” She died days later. There is a comic strip, where someone goes to bed crying. “I MISS YOU” hovers above them. They turn over, eyes closed. “SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS” is written on their blanket, which turns into an animal. The animal walks through a forest, up a hill, to a house. Inside is the person, greeting them with open arms. They snuggle on a couch, together, eyes closed. I put these all in my “thoughts about death” folder. I go here when I want to feel oceanic feelings, if I’m not already deep in a swim.

“You are living the dream,” my aunt tells me. “You have such an interesting life. You should write down your stories.” I think about this, as I am always thinking about this. If it’s not the newsletter, it’s the fiction. If it’s not the fiction, it’s the journalism. If it’s not the journalism, it’s the essays. If it’s not the essays, it’s the tweets I write for work, for brands, for other people: if it’s not this, it’s that. I moved abroad two years ago, which was a dream of mine for years and years. I get paid to write, which was a dream of mine for years and years. I hope to deepen people’s lives and relationships, ideally through writing, which has been a dream of mine for years and years. I meet people who I think sound nice, who seem like they would have something in common with me, who I can share life with. We meet in person and have a pleasant time. We talk about being new, about being lonely. They don’t text me back. Did I leave the party that I was throwing for myself too early again? Or am I just at the pre-game? Is a dream like that tree in the forest, whose falling is only heard if someone is there to hear it? Chani tells me I am embarking on a twenty year metamorphosis, “of your life’s most meaningful work and public contributions.” Is that happening now? Or am I in the waiting room, the moment before my big song plays? It feels like I’ve always been in that moment.

“It all goes — if you love it,” Betsy Johnson says of life, of decorating. “this graffiti is bringing tears to my eyes,” someone writes. The graffiti? “I LOVE This Town !! And My Friends!” There is a meme of different eyes. Alcohol is bloodshot. Weed is a bit squinted. Love? Wide open blue eyes. hehe. “If you are someone who is happy with their lives, you have to be friends with people who are also happy with their life,” a woman explains in a TikTok. “If you are someone who plans to continually level up and grow in your life, you’re going to lose a lot of friends.” “U have time,” Lana Del Rey comments on an Instagram post someone makes about their dreams and being in their twenties. “I was looking to get married,” she said in an interview recently. “Not have a tenth record.” I go to an affirmation: all poopoo times are peepee times but not all peepee times are poopoo times. “I think about it all the time,” Charli XCX sings, about a potential baby, about a potential family, about a potentially shifting life that reroutes dreams to different places, to different dreams altogether, to feel more fingerprints upon you, to be the clay, for once, instead of the potter.

“what people think pride is”
“Going to bed at 10pm”
“furry denier”
“Gender ranking”
“Ally university”
“Don’t allow Billy Porter”
“too many straight men”
This week’s Pride and queer post round-up!

“unfortunately i am not immune to this”
Glen Powell is one of those guys who looks attractive, depending on the day. Also: he’s booming, sure, perhaps because of the Armie Hammer shaped hole in the industry (which he may be playing into with fake cannibal stories).

"he looks like a minion"
Anyway, here’s a post undoing everything I just said.

“THIS IS CRAZYY”
I saw the Taylor Swift snot video so you have to too.

“my badass mom has done”
“haven’t been able to stop thinking about this”
The Saddam Hussein/Flat Stanley mom thing was wild, only made wilder by the other other related posts.

“Watch till the end”
Grandma of the year.

“Older black lady asked me.”
Speaking of grandmas (and the Olympics).

“Why is college down the drain”
A fair question.

“how it feels to be unemployed”
It’s the rings for me.

“having the Elder Scrolls NPC surgery”
"By Azura"
Is this better or worse than the Love Island surgery cast?

“Don’t cry on Live Photo”
Need more people boo hooing on live photos.

And, finally, how it feels trying to process all the Trends™ each week.

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