MY PRONOUNS ARE USA 🦅🫡🇺🇸

Looking at an emerging left-wing patriotic movement and meditating on why America long denies biracial persons their identities.

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Kamala Harris Raises $310 Million in July
Remember when the Trump assassination “boosted” Trump’s outlook? lmao

Inside the “Big Weirdo” Political Strategy
"They’re the weird ones!"
"There’s a new insult"
"This is a presidential election"
The “weird” thing is very effective but — Let’s be real. — it is so cringe and Millennial. But it’s working! And the ads are good! Especially given the direction right wing content is going.

Biden Calls for Supreme Court Overhaul
Eighteen year term limits is good but…feels too long? That’s four and a half presidencies! Either way: this is better than what we have now.

Evan Gershkovich release
Who Was Freed in the Prisoner Swap?
This is major!! Sadly, a bit too late.

Taylor Swift ‘in shock’ after Southport stabbing
False claims about a stabbing led to a riot
Southport rioter gets instant karma
"🧱"
One of the bigger small news stories of the week, which started with the stabbing of children, evolved into a far right xenophobic conspiracy, and ended with a meme of a far right protestor being delivered instant karma.

Smuggled Bomb Killed Hamas Leader
Hezbollah chief: conflict with Israel in ‘new phase’
“Someone has now shot dead our key negotiator”
A turning point, as there ain’t no ceasefire happening in the near future 😞

Opposition says it has proof in disputed election
U.S. recognizes opposition candidate
The Venezuelan election is quite a situation! If you’re curious about what election interference and attempted undoings of democracy look like, this is a great example.

Wall Street's Year of Calm Snaps as Trades Flop
Can someone explain this astrology for men to me?

Amazon says distraction contributed to weak forecast
Starbucks sales tumble
McDonald's sales fall globally
See above, which is also to say: it’s not “current events.” People are broke and don’t want to buy needless shit from you. “Value” has become valueless, which speaks to both an economic shift (bad) but ideological shift (good).

Alzheimer’s blood test catches 90% of early dementia
Remarkable!

Gen X, millennials at higher cancer risk than older gens
Yes, colon cancer is on the list.

Feeling a bit “My pronouns are USA.” right now? You’re not alone, as a sort of non-cringe patriotism is emerging for what feels like the first time since 9/11.

After the Biden-induced dark night of the left wing soul and the rise of Kamala Harris as pre-president elect — which we can multiply by the Olympics and even Global All Stars — Democrats and progressives seem to have all of a sudden gotten in line, putting aside most differences to become a unified front of excitable and proud Americans. We have Kamala raising record numbers of donations which is aided by a strategy that involves (non-vicious) name calling, which may be building to actual name calling and true defensiveness. That alone would qualify as enough patriotism — but that’s not it. There’s something richer happening, which is a sort of realization that — while flawed — America is quite great. We can all aspire to be as self-less and honorable as Joe Biden! Or to be as hopeful as Jimmy Carter! We don’t need to make this place great again: we just need to realize it’s quite good and keep that goodness on track without letting perfectionism rob us of progress, all while keeping off chudism.

I had this realization while writing this week’s paid essay, which is explores everything from living abroad to how overtourism fuels xenophobia. Here’s an excerpt that details this trend, which I’ve been tracking for months and months —

A silver lining is that people are realizing that the grass elsewhere is just as yellow as it is where you are: as I see again and again and again, people are waking up to the beauty that the United States has, that going somewhere may not be all it's jazzed up to be. Might this be the emerging of a left-leaning, neo-patriotism? I think so!

We even saw glimpses of this last week, in talking about Kamala’s rocketing into the lead of all culture and all conversations, which has brought with it the long overdue “SNAP OUT IT!!” moment  for the left: “there was a war of reasonable people realizing the ‘I’m not voting at all because #Palestine!’ is a bit of an unhinged take; the “Kamala is a cop!” narrative got swept up too.” These are less about becoming more lenient but becoming more realistic, considering that we put too much weight on (Christinanity informed) perfectionism, on thinking that utopias are possible if everything burns down versus realizing the heavy, ugly mechanics that run this machine: change is never easy, nor is it very cute — but it is possible. It’s a lot of paperwork and bureaucratics, which Republicans have gotten very good at.

This is all to say something else we’ve said weeks ago: we are in the throes of a revolution — and the left is standing up, which is culturally very different from the non-patriotism of 2008’s Barack Obama presidential run. It’s time to do the unsexy work, to use tools like TikTok to create entertainment-cum-propaganda, to equate the image of America as that of the proud minority, to use conflict resolution skills to build community, to stop being chronically online and to start working together to fix shit, to make patriotism cool again (before it turns dorky again). The “POV: returning to America.” joke is becoming aspirational in the sense that there are things to be proud of, that this is a place worth fighting for. Funny how all it took was a young-er leader who literally embodies what change can look like? Who would have thought! Maybe that’s why “proud to be an American” saw an unprecedented double bump this July after four years of a single bump in Google searches.

Now, again: know that patriotism is not cool because patriotism and nationalism are conjoined twins who eventually monster mash into a xenophobic hell beast that evolves into something like the modern Republican party: patriotism is a chaotic, evil substance that warps the mind, causing everything from wars to caste systems. But it’s possible to do this right, to become an inspiration to the world of having your shit together in a self-aware way — and we are so close to having that, to keep the momentum of the UK and France and Mexico and India going. Even countries in Africa are questioning their gerontocratic leadership because of America, imagining what progress can look like for them. American being the inspiration of progress. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? That’s what’s at stake here — and it feels like many, many people have gotten the memo, albeit a month after July 4.

Who is Italian boxer Angela Carini?
J.K. Rowling Misgenders Female Olympian
This week’s right wing brain rot controversy, even if the moron who did all the boohooing apologized. If anything, the Olympics has organized and or galvanized global right wing forces against queer boogeypersons. Who is surprised this big cry baby is Italian? Y’all freaks!! (Runner up: the 12-hour Kyle Rittenhouse transvestigation.)

Scammers Are Targeting Older Americans
I hate to laugh at someone’s misfortune but there is something deeply funny about a scam that appeals to the older (American male) mind because it’s based in vigilanteism. You, old dude, aren’t a private investigator! You’re not going to save the children, you moron.

Why Does My Teenager Insist on Wearing Used Clothes?
This story is very funny because — uhh — read the room!! Give this parent a spanking!!!!!!!

ADHD in women hit record level as TikTok raises awareness
A fascinating look at the overlap between TikTok and diagnosis.

'Friend' Is an AI Pendant, Will Send Texts About Your Life
AI ‘girlfriends’ are tech’s next pitch to lonely men
”Incel: I have such a hard time”
No comment.

Botched church makeover: cherubim look startled
What is going on with restoration workers in Spain? We need to overhaul this industry!

Fred Segal closes its remaining stores
Truly the end of an era, not that Fred Segal has been any good since the early 2000s. RIP!

C Pam Zhang: ‘I was aware of the drift towards fascism’
C Pam Zhang hive…this one’s for you. And, if you aren’t in the hive, please read Land of Milk & Honey, which came out last year but was the best book I read this year. Literally and figuratively delicious.

Booker longlist might just be the most enjoyable
I have read…none. Top of the list is James though! Shall we book club it??

A Taco Bell In Transition
This is inter-literary but, for those wondering what it’s like to run and submit to a literary journal, this piece by Taco Bell Quarterly is right on the money. All creative worlds are choked right now, as are job applications. Any ideas as to what’s going on?

After Getting Laid Off, I Depend on My Mom
My friend (and former team member, who I hired when I was managing a copy team) Tonja wrote about her experience of getting laid off and the brutal job market. It’s a good look into the reality of the job market now. (And, if you have a job for Tonja, let me know — or hit her up on LinkedIn! Consider me her glowing reference!!!)

Introducing Substack Chat
Unless you’re a deep Substack person, you’re likely not on the app’s “chat” functionality, which is essentially like a subscriber messaging system. But, after chatting with Ben Dietz and seeing how carla lalli music uses hers, I figured I’d give it a try. I’m thinking of it like a group chat with you all, where we can send each other memes, trends, and random culture thoughts. Get into the fun, with the link below!

“She has an Indian mother and Black father,” the Fox News host said, frustrated, hands out to camera. “Those are two different backgrounds.”

“Why don’t you speak Spanish?” was something I would hear a lot growing up, from classmates of all backgrounds, as they placed a test before me: you have to prove that you are Puerto Rican, hispanic, or we will not allow you to call yourself such a thing. If we are confused, your identity isn’t real.

“I am a strong woman,” Alina Habba said at a Trump rally this week. “Unlike you, Kamala, I know who my roots are. I know where I come from.”

“You’re not dark enough to be peanut butter,” kids said again and again, because my skin didn’t prove that I was of multiple races. To be a biracial American is to always be burdened with proof, to show identification, to perform in ways that check boxes — all with one hand behind your back, preventing you from holding two things at the same time.

“She was Indian all the way, and then all of a sudden she made a turn and she became a Black person,” Donald Trump said about Kamala Harris this week, at a speaking engagement with the National Association of Black Journalists.

“Do you remember those classes?” my brother asked me once. I do: every few weeks, I remember that, in grade school, in 1990s rural Kentucky, when my father was abroad for military service and my mother was parenting three boys under eight by herself, my older brother and I were placed in special education. I remember having to go to a half-full classroom every few days, where he and I and a few children who were dark-skinned would sit and talk. I don’t remember what we talked about but some kids had accents, others didn’t. It was strange because none of us were in the same grade. Why was my brother in a class with me? It wasn’t until years and years later that he and I unfolded what had happened with my mother: all the children of difference were put into special education because they were “different,” because they weren’t American enough.

“She was only promoting Indian heritage,” Trump continued. “I didn’t know she was Black until a number of years ago when she happened to turn Black. Now she wants to be known as Black...Is she Indian or is she Black?”

“They’re racists,” my mother said, which we didn’t quite understand because we didn’t know what she meant. She had gotten a job as a teacher and the local school board didn’t allow her to check the boxes of her races: she claimed being hispanic and being Black, but they didn’t allow her to be that because she didn’t look or sound “like that” despite having a Puerto Rican birth certificate and being a quarter Black. Such is the bizarre systemization, the constant burdening, when they insist that it “doesn’t matter” because they want DEI and greater diversity efforts dissolved, to claim a great colorblindness that bars the prejudices that persist. Isn’t that why affirmative action was repealed? Because we no longer have these problems? My being biracial doesn’t matter, right? None of this will matter, when the Supreme Court repeals Loving V. Virginia and makes my parents relationship void, making the different parts of so many people like me void. How big the smiles will be, by the people (and family) who flirt with ideas like the Great Replacement Theory.

“He pointed out the fundamental chameleon-like nature of Kamala Harris,” JD Vance said of Kamala Harris. “She’s flip-flopped on every issue. She’s fake. She’s phony. And I think our whole campaign is going to have a very fun time pointing that out.”

Of course, JD Vance and his wife — Usha Vance — have three biracial children. Just like my parents.

"8 beers deep"
“had to rewind this three times”
“dictionary”
”If this man launched an OnlyFans”
”the gayest olympics”
Best Olympic posts.

"where's my soap?"
”you wanna guess”
My favorite Charli XCX posts of the week, given the Billie remix was a bit of a snoozer(but not for me, I suppose). This also reminds me of something I meant to say last week: cringe ground zero SNL is going to do a few brat sketches — Likely with Charli! — and I will be forced to crack a molar, igniting my emergency cyanide pill.

“Just remembered this”
I too forgot about this and was tickled to be reminded. Can we get the c,xoxo spin on it?

“imagine killing yourself and”
Was thinking about this all week.

"would not have survived 90s Madonna"
re: the drag “Last Supper” panic from last week.

“looks like a Veggie Tale”
Not enough people are giving Zuckerberg shit for effectively rerouting his entire life around an AI meme. This is both sad and the most successful AI use case: it should be studied.

“Can I get a trans rights?”
See, JK Rowling? Jigsaw gets it! (See also: this good post on right wing antics.)

"accidentally dressed an an asian man's magnum opus"
Easily the best Tweet of the week. iykyk

“if i can jump on a call”
This is me, whenever someone sends me a voice memo.

"youtube replacing regulated kids TV is bad"
This is definitely not real but I know very similar real things exist.

“This is Big Bush Garden”
”I’ve always struggled with intimacy.”
Spectacular. Give me 14 seasons of this right now.

"The dub"
As if the Confidence Activist’s iconic “okay” couldn’t get any better.

"just insane"
Most deeply unhinged post of the week.

And, finally, what I need to live.

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