we're literally sick of each other 😷

Attempting to diagnose a few issues of our culture and walking through the exit of an age of over-consumption.

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Israel Bracing for Attack From Iran
Nuclear deal in tatters, Iran close to weapons
How Iran Is Causing Chaos Beyond Israel and Palestine
Iran launches retaliatory attack on Israel
The Israel-Palestine conflict took a turn, thanks to Iran. Naturally, this is kicking up talks of World War III. This will be a big conversation this week!

Vatican blasts gender-affirming surgery, surrogacy
Did this diva finally pick a lane? I don’t understand how you can go from having trans women over for lunch to invalidating their lives. It’s giving “love the sinner, not the sin” which is a toxic cover for bad acting in the name of religion.

The next conflict is millennials vs each other
Data story of the week! I could have told you this though: you live in a city and you see how differently people your age live and you “feel this.” Granted, there are grades to this but you know!

“Reminders not currently supported”
“Just trying to translate”
“Humane pin overheats”
“The product is not that good.”
Really rotten launch week for the Humane AI Pin. Very embarrassing!

Paris prize money opens Olympic divide
This is fascinating, in that the Olympics is trying to have their cake and eat it too. Don’t pretend like you aren’t a money show! And, while smaller athletes may not “get as much” money, it’s all an ecological and metropolitan nightmare. (The other Olympic drama of the week? Nike’s “sexist” uniforms.)

Kim Ann Foxman and Cora attacked in Berlin
Group attack on a trans boy in Barcelona
"very disturbed hearing about 2 different incidents"
An unfortunate space to watch in 2024: queer hate attacks in supposedly queer-friendly zones. Awful stuff, granted such is “the world.”

Venice's new tourist tax launches this month
Protesters on hunger strike over mass tourism
Hawaii Considers a New Fee for Vacationers
These 24 Destinations Charge a Tourist Tax
I have beat this drum for months but over-tourism is being combated by taxes, it seems. This is going to be a bigger and bigger conversation!

3 men stranded rescued by spelling 'help'
Good reminder that, if you’re stranded on a desert island, spell out HELP.

We have a sickness — but I can’t quite tell you what it is. I know the symptoms though! You do too. Let’s look at them.

SYMPTOM A —
“Humans are so cute,” a person cries on TikTok, reflecting on gatherings during the eclipse. “We chose to go to a nearby hill, tell our neighbors, and experience a little bit of community,” another person says on TikTok. Meanwhile, there is a debate brewing: shouldn’t we be in friendship debts? Why don’t we ask friends to take us to the airport? Why do we have so many bad friendship boundaries? This is colliding with ideas of hanging out, which is and isn’t happening, and how social media has made people too comfortable being at home. SEE ALSO: the loneliness epidemic.

SYMPTOM B —
A lot of people are talking about the 4B movement, which crossed over from a The Cut feature fodder and into pro-feminism, anti-male TikTok nip. It’s a fitting 2020s counterweight to what incels were in the 2010s, which is aptly getting co-opted by men who are inching toward “a 5B movement.” Happening in tandem is a work of art in Australia that was exclusively for women became a hot subject as a man who “felt excluded” took the work to court — and won. This now turns the art into literal politics as it’s likely to head to the Supreme Court in the country. SEE ALSO: the theory that everyone will eventually date queerly.

SYMPTOM C —
For months and months, there have been conversation about people who don’t know how to research or get questions answered themselves. For months and months, there have been conversations about younger people being unable to navigate technology. For months and months, a phenomena has occurred where people demand in comments that a random post be about them. All of this coalesces into the “What about me?” effect and “bean soup,” which represents a thirst for knowledge but deep laziness in the pursuit, an inability to research, a lack of autonomy, and a reliance on others to do the labor of living for you. SEE ALSO: “doing your own research”

SYMPTOM D —
The number one post I have been thinking about all week is how someone who works in AI asked ChatGPT for advice on their hair. I don’t mean to sound dramatic but there’s something deeply unwell about this. I’m surprised it didn’t say “Grow another head on your head.” Very uneasy vibes! SEE ALSO: “I have a group chat with three AI friends.” and “Your AI chatbot will support you no matter what.” and “Your child’s favorite teacher may be a chatbot.” but also “How to Use Apps to Actually Make Friends” and “Can a friendship app cure loneliness?” and “Bumble looks to revive its friendship-focused BFF product” and “Activity-based friendship app aims to help people connect.” 

I think these are all intertwined. These are all interpersonal problems that are interrupted, confused, or complicated by tech. This isn’t the fault of the bogey man “the dead internet is here and it sucks” — But it’s not not that! — and this isn’t the fault of changing technologies, a la the existential crisis that comes with AI — but it’s not not that too. Our disconnection and lack of lives could be the umbrella that all of these things fit under while also being the rain pouring down.

I’m not sure (Maybe you are!) but I do think that another, somewhat obvious item could be at play: performance culture. In the mid-2010s, when social media and the internet shifted from “This is me! Really!” to “This is the idea of me projected upon the internet for money, attention, or other forms of currency!” we lost something as people, both online and offline. Relationships shifted from seeing each other as each other and more as tools for content, stones to step on, and puppets to entertain us. It took the piss out of life, in a lot of ways, by manufacturing life, by pretending the unreal was real. (Which, paired with reality television, is a toxic combination.) Thus, a reality dominated by what was once a niche field of study that overlapped theater and sociology (which, unfortunately, I have a degree in).

The cure isn’t logging off — but the answer isn’t not logging on. I think the recent and sage “fight for your right to party” TikTok said it best: “When young people get together for recreation, that’s what makes culture evolve. That’s what makes pop culture happen. Right now, it’s dying on the vine.”

Don Hertzfeldt and Ari Aster Collaborating
This is quite inspired even if I still have not seen Beau Is Afraid.

Patti Astor, Founder Legendary Fun Gallery, Dies
RIP to Patti! She was an icon who helped to shape so much of what has become mainstream “art,” by offering a platform to persons like Kenny Scharf and Futura. I feel like she didn’t get enough credit in her life!

Oldest living conjoined twins die at 62
Did you know that the eldest conjoined twins were in their sixties? I had never thought about this before. Their story is super interesting too!

Gen Z slang terms are influenced by incels
Found this while looking up things for the above essay, which is an interesting way of saying that, like “slay” and “giving” being gobbled up by kids from the left and queer culture means “pilled” and “maxing” being absorbed from the right and incel. Everyone “wins” by these terms becoming ubiquitous.

Lauren Oyler’s meditations
High-brow delicious drama of the week: Bookforum’s review of Lauren Oyler’s new essay collection is one of the most savage reads you’ll encounter this year. It even went viral on Twitter! I didn’t love Fake Accounts (Real ones know what the best fiction book about the internet in 2021 was.) but it’s quite poetic to see the critic get critiqued. Here’s good context on the drama.

"Google Docs locking folks out"
“author lost access”
“Warning To All Writers”
Is Google Docs actually censoring “spicy” content? I don’t think so, as it’s probably more a matter of spam email addresses running amok. Regardless, some writer people are in a tizzy. 

The Gospel According to Delta Work
Delta Work is a queer person’s Socrates. A must read for any fan of drag, queer, and LA culture.

"was written & directed by a kid"
“I want her to stand in the street”
Random fact of the week: Jennifer Love Hewitt’s “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” scene from I Know What You Did Last Summer was actually written and directed by a kid who won some contest. I guess Hollywood dreams do come true in the 1990s, even though that kid probably ain’t in Hollywood no more!

Truancy Volume 325: DJ Wawa
A great interview, with a joyous, ready-for-summer mix. A crowd pleaser!

“Working with David Byrne”
St. Vincent explaining David Byrne’s songwriting process is your creative inspiration of the week! Just because something isn’t perfect or done doesn’t mean that it cannot be shared!

“God bless the man who left this comment”
Autobiographies under YouTube videos are such a great genre. This one under “It’s Okay To Cry” is no exception.

“Here is Princess Lolly”
“This is Jolly”
"The Candy Land board"
The best television I watched this week was this TikTok series on the evolution of the Candy Land board. I think Tuesday’s essay might be about this, as the most recent board says a lot about “childhood today.”

all i ever wanted was to be a hipster 😭
Paid subscribers got an essay about a book that formed my teenage years and young adult years. I still think about this book a lot!

I want us to do an exercise. Literally do this, if you’re at home!

What’s the oldest thing in your house that you still use? Not vintage, not used, but something you bought and obtained and have been using for years and years and years. I’m not talking about an old perfume bottle that belonged to your grandmother, that sits on your shelf, nor am I talking about your old iPod, which is in a drawer, that you sometimes look at longingly. I’m talking about the comb from middle school that you still use every day, that one shirt from freshman year of college that — Somehow! — still fits and is still stylish. Maybe it’s the couch you bought for your first apartment, which you still own twenty years later. It could be a set of bowls that you were gifted and have used for a decade. It could be a dictionary you were given as a child that you still use regularly.

Gather those things. Observe them. Thank them! Why do you love them? Why do they work? Would you ever replace them? What purpose do they have in your life? How can you mend them to make them matter more?

For me, it’s a large InCase backpack I got in 2012. It’s also a Scrabble board I stole from my family when I went to college in the early 2000s. It’s a J.Crew coat I found at a thrift store in DC while in college in 2006. It’s all the things that belong to my grandfather. It’s a comb from Bobby’s grandmother. It’s a pair of gold hoop earrings my friend Cori gave me. It’s a set of cups my friend Shad made me and Bobby. It’s all these things and more!

While very KonMari, I think we can apply this way of thinking to more than just objects. How can we build relationships with our stuff? How can we build relationships to, say, a brand, so that what you can guarantee what you bring in your home is an extension of relationship building? We’re very much primed to buy buy buy, to go into Sephora and amass as much as you can or encounter that new Uniqlo collection to lust at another blank tee that you already own. Do you need these things? I’m on a clothing fast, meaning I’m not buying clothes — or much of anything — because I really have no desire for anything and I want to save money. But, more importantly, I don’t need anything. I have all of my essentials — and then some! Yes, I need things like deodorant every few weeks. But do I need to buy the $20 Salt & Stone Black Rose Oud instead of a $2 non-brand crystal deodorant? The $2 crystal works just as well, lasts for years, and is compostable. It may not fare well in the summer but it’s been perfectly acceptable in the falls and winter.

I say all this because we’re reaching an end cycle of two decades of consumption. That vibe shift New Yorkers talked about may finally be happening — but not in the way that was expected. Look to the Kardashians, who have been in a theorized state of decline for almost two years. If we specifically look at Kylie and her failure to thrive in 2024, we can see a wider picture of what culture is now. Nicky Reardon’s thoughtful, thorough explanation of this maps the idea better than I can, but it also builds on months of similar thinking from people like that one “I’ve studied marketing!” TikToker, which is as much truth as it is trendy to dog them.

But this is a bellwether. As one person explained, the Kardashians and capitalism are intertwined in the sense that capitalism is designed to make all resources and all aspects of living profitable in the service of further profit while the Kardashians profit off of every insecurity and poor feeling you have about yourself in the service of making you feel worse in your pursuit of “becoming them.” That’s not why they’re collapsing: this trend is crashing into two others, largely that there is too much stuff and people are realizing you cannot buy experience. The Kardashian audience, many of whom were tweens and teens a decade ago, during the era of the lip challenge, are grown — and simultaneously starved and glutted by every celebrity now having a makeup line or product line, an alcohol thing or a wellness thing. And it’s not just celebrities: it’s athletes and creators, drag queens and chefs. It’s obvious that (rich) people are money grabbing left and right when those who are being squeezed have less and less. This is to say: we’re realizing we don’t “need anything else” as entertainment, tech, and commerce join forces to squelch us of all we have. We need infrastructure, not another celebrity seltzer!

I know you feel it. I know we’re approaching a point of recognizing our consumer poisoning. This week alone there were two viral videos about this subject, one about a person’s 22 year old backpack and one where Charli XCX explained why people should wear their clothes to death. This runs in parallel to the growing and good action that people are taking in the Let Them Eat Cereal movement. Toss in the billionaire private flight tracking phenomenon too and you see where this is heading: we’re hungry to taste billionaire veal.

Let’s start thinking about shopping and what we consume almost as a form of sobriety, competing to see how long we can use things and go without “a fix.” The planet would thank us, we’d have more character, and we’d save money — while sticking a wrench in the machine of consumption. Thank all of the items you’ve owned for all these years and years. Tell them you’ll love them and care for them in the ways they love and care for you. Make a product instead of buying a product. Skip something that seems “important.” Wear the same outfit more than once in a week. Who is harmed? Who cares? No one.

“eclipse to a fish”
Favorite eclipse post.

“Nancy Reagan”
“Why did Marilyn Monroe sing”
Just some posts about First Ladies that I liked.

"baby owls sleep on their stomachs"
This is how I sleep, if you care.

“deepest hole in the world”
Been thinking about this.

“favourite version of the trolley problem”
If I had it my way, this would be the only version of the trolley problem.

“Why would she be doing that”
I’ve been losing my mind over this right-wing comic for days.

“everything i made”
"i remember having to wake up for school"
Creator of the week is the private chef who works for a “fashion person” who is so clearly Jenna Lyons.

“Lana ur impact”
“But Daddy I Love Him”
I’m no Lana fan but her song titles are elite — and weird that so many artists are now “copying” her style. Lazy! 

“Asked my coworkers if they remembered The Strokes”
And this is why I removed the year I graduated from college from my LinkedIn and resumé.

“gay pop delusion”
This is the best take on the Jojo Siwa silly song.

"you don't know who Chloë"
There’s something simultaneously endearing and embarrassing about “not knowing” who Chloë Sevigny is as a fashion person. Granted, I couldn’t finish the video because I got embarrassed.

“Larry David funko pop”
I’ll never look at Danny DeVito the same again.

“friend who recently learned new words”
I watched this many times, which all emphasizes that we gotta open up these schools again.

"my sims when i dont feed them"
Maybe the hardest I laughed this week.

“doing a little bit of research”
Can anyone confirm that this works? I may do this later.

And, finally, how it would sound if I read these emails to you.

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