The Trend Report™: Master's House
Thinking about the ineffective tools of our time and our love of Dakota Johnson.
I Have Monkeypox — Here's What It's Like
An interesting look at what it’s like to have monkeypox. Scary but…not that scary, as no one has died. But be safe!! Everyone sick now!!
Fauci Has a Few More Lessons to Share.
This feature on Dr. Fauci is interesting – but there’s a big wrinkle at the top: the writer had Covid, was recovering, and abided by the CDC rules, only for Dr. Fauci’s team to rebuff with guidance that they “would need to test negative three days in a row and wear a mask, even outdoors.” Huh. Cool guidelines! Related: lots of talks about needing to be extra safe right now, as new variants surge.
46 migrants found dead in abandoned trailer
This was a devastating story this week. If only we had better, less xenophobic imigration policies, this shit wouldn’t happen.
“they’re gettin creamed”
“they’re doing nothing”
Kamala Harris’ recent interview with CNN was kind of a disaster? As I’ve been seeing memes say, she basically went on and said, “We’re doing nothing, Joe.” Great plan for winning support!
“the main problem with the United States”
This TikTok is fascinating, mapping how stopping abortion is tied to trying to prevent white parents from discontinuing pregnancies – all to prevent non-white-persons from becoming the majority. This isn’t just a TikTok theory but a big racist movement.
This meme from Ilhan Omar about how Minnesota legalized edibles because Republicans didn’t read the bill is so, so good.
Cassidy Hutchinson's path from insider to witness
This was the story about January 6 this week – especially the part where Trump tried to literally turn a car around!
Election deniers have taken their fraud theories on tour
A super interesting look at the right wing figures who are going on tour, pedaling election fraud theories to anyone who will listen.
"both homeowners oppose the new apartment building"
“oh my god”
"only so many houses and that is someone's fault"
Obama Blames Liberal NIMBYs for the Housing Crisis Too
NIMBY content is everywhere but also kinda shitty that…a president is blaming NIMBYs for the housing crisis? Particularly a president who “fixed” the system, post recession? It’s like…our leaders could do something to fix this? Hmm. Just an idea! Maybe making change is an option!!
“empire in decline”
Related: this meme about the army dropping high school diplomas, which is a true story. They have since reinstated the requirement.
'Mystery rocket' crashed into the Moon baffles NASA
“Do people want to read about the #ClimateCrisis?”
An interesting look at which countries care most about this issue. Unsurprisingly, America cares the least!!
Supreme Court Rules For Polluters In West Virginia v EPA
For those keeping score, the Supreme Court is on a roll – and it’s bad. As someone pointed out, it’s a coup led from these non-elected officials. They’ve gamified an entire branch of government. (That said! This EPA ruling may not be that bad? It’s still bad though.)
There is the feeling that we are simply reinforcing our terrible political state, using ineffective tools that we have been led to believe are effective. We aren’t using the master's tools to dismantle the masters house: we are reinforcing the master’s house. We are committing to uselessness.
An example: how our (traditional Democrat) representatives behave. Via Puck –
You would think that, with a month of advance warning about how the Supreme Court was going to rule, Democrats would have been better prepared for the day that Roe v. Wade finally fell. And yet, when it happened, Democrats did what Democrats do best: make memes, get mad at each other, and do little of consequence.
Another example, from how our (traditional Democrat) representatives operate when campaigning. NPR explains –
As the midterm primary season rolls along, voters may have noticed a strange phenomenon of political advertising: Democrats paying for ads supporting Republican candidates.
In multiple states – including Colorado and Illinois, which hold primaries on Tuesday – Democrats have been attempting to boost far-right Republicans, under the assumption that they would be easier to beat in a general election.
What happens here? Opponents get free promotion, which amplifies their message to people who are looking for an ideology – and the plan backfires.
Over the past few years, this behavior has been handed down via “Just vote!” platitudes. We attempt to take matters into our own hands, yelling and calling and putting out our thoughts with the means that we have. Even when we have needless political prisoners like Brittney Griner, this is what we’re told to do – and it doesn’t work. From the Washington Post –
We are quick to mobilize behind causes and believe there will be power in our numbers. And we expect results. On Tuesday, a popular rapper tweeted, then deleted, “why is no one talking about britteny griner,” misspelling her name while questioning what he perceived to be a lack of attention on her case. In truth, attention has surged since her February arrest. The frightening reality: That hasn’t led to any apparent progress.
Is there a solution? Of course, not that I know what that is. (Perhaps anarchy, a la AOC recommending ways to get an abortion.)
If anything, this is an ongoing theme – our loser state, the helplessness of the Democrats – that is progressively leading to madness. Then we protest, which are perceived as madness, madness begets a police state, a police state leads to violence.
No Ghosts Allowed
My dear friend Hannah wrote this lil fiction piece that recently got published. Give it a read!! She’s such a great writer!!!!
Buck Ellison's Great White Society
I love Buck Ellison’s work because it is the most biting look at rich white people, not to mention being gorgeous and funny and dark at the same time.
Dodger Stadium Landscape Designer on the Botanic Garden
I want Dodger Stadium to become a park. That would be great!
"Everything We Know So Far About 'Barbie'"
"THIS IS TAKING ME OUT"
“Barbie” Movie Memes Have Taken Over
This movie is going to kill me. The hype machine is working overtime here, rightly so. I would write an essay about this but so many others have already! Same with Minions culture, which I would have loved to have deep dived on.
Same-Sex Flamingo Couple 'No Longer a Pair'
Some sad, post-Pride news.
"I paid a $900 fee for my mom’s local paper"
Wild / bad little story about The Post profiting off of people’s obituaries. If something goes viral, bad actors will profit!!
101-year-old former Nazi sentenced to 5 years in prison
I don’t know about y’all but I feel like whenever I see stories like these, I wonder…why did it take this long to sentence this person and why not just give them the death penalty at this point? Not that I am pro-death penalty! But it seems pretty ridiculous to me.
“vehemently stands with women”
"Water is not wet"
This week in brands doing good, Lake Superior’s Twitter was the winner of the week.
What’s Going on With RadioShack’s Twitter Feed?
In the bad news, Radio Shack’s Twitter – while candid – is bad. Another step forward in a brand dropping a dick pic! (As I spoke with some people at work this week: why? Radio Shack posting elicit content isn’t going to resurrect them. Getting likes for being dank online and talking about tits isn’t going to get sales, but will get people laughing at you. It’s like someone drunk on the dancefloor at a wedding, making a fool out of themself: yeah, you dance with them and laugh – but it’s because they’re a mess. It’s the same thing. This “move” by brands is also exactly the same thing as the GameStop stock inflation: it’s a moment in time that means something now, but nothing in the larger scale of brand death.)
I am a lover of Dakota Johnson. She’s the ultimate nepotism baby – but a unique entry in the canon, the rare nepo bb who understands their place and seeks to dismantle the system that brought them to where they are. How can you hate the person who exposed Ellen’s reign of terror, while repeatedly speaking truth to Hollywood power? (Yes, her thoughts on cancel culture are questionable – but no one is perfect! That is not an excuse though!!)
This is why people love her: she’s got an aspirational don’t-give-a-fuck-ness, a cool, rich girl who eschews the idea of being a cool rich girl, while acknowledging that her story is very much embedded in riches. In a world of Kim Kardashians, someone like Dakota – who lives in an understated Los Feliz treehouse and makes elegant sex toys instead of a Calabasas opulent minimalist compound and BBL-informed shapewear – is refreshing. She’s effortlessly relatable!
Take her recent Vanity Fair profile, where you see her relatability factory at work from the opening lines –
Dakota Johnson is proud of her vibrator.
The actor, producer, and fashion muse is due on the carpet at the Met Gala soon, and her hair and makeup teams are applying their finishing touches in a suite at New York’s Crosby Street Hotel. Turns out Johnson has a touch all her own—she used a vibrator on her face this morning as a makeshift lymphatic drainage massager. The device was from Maude, the sexual wellness company she joined a few years back as co–creative director.
“It’s not for your face but it’s good,” she says.
“You showed me how to use it on my face,” says Kate Young, her longtime stylist and date for the night. Young turns to me and points to her cheeks: “I use her vibrator.”
Johnson smiles. “My personal one.”
If her talk about vibrators that captures you, it’s how she repeatedly doesn’t wear her glasses to comic effect. She knows she’s imperfect and silly, positioning her as an A-list gay camp icon underdog – who is very much none of that. Why else are people so buzzed about her incoming hot girl Marvel movie? Whether it works or not won’t matter: it doesn’t have to be good because the whimsically chaotic press tour will be exceptional. She’s a personality’s personality – and she does everything but take herself too seriously.
"i truly wasn't expecting that"
"Marsai Martin cuts off her acceptance speech"
"This man just saved Giveon’s performance"
The BET Awards were something!!! Two incredible highlights.
“A Founding Father watching Rep. Boebert”
This is funny but also not-funny because it’s real.
“excellently crafted montage”
While Devil Wears Prada is quite imperfect, there are so many good things about that movie. I think about this montage a lot. It’s perfect!!
"Kind of a weird sign if you ask me"
“we will adopt your baby”
This was a huge meme this week, all based in these dumb ass right wing idiots.
Congrats, Sam! I was baptized by her too.
“break intergenerational trauma”
I love this meme format.
“me at 17”
Scroll for an accurate look at your thirties. Thank you meme queen, Emma Roberts!
"Patch on tumbler"
I love these little noises. I want them to do this to my brain.
This is not new but I saw it for the first time this week and…learning to read is hard!!!!
“Dear God PLEASE watch this”
How to not save a chipmunk stuck on your window.
“our greatest video”
“Its a napkin somewhere”
This psychotic “napkin” trend is so fucking funny.
And, finally, me talking about myself.
Give a tip & subscribe to The Fox Is Black.
Thanks for reading The Trend Report™! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.