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The Trend Report™: Inaugural Thoughts
A crash course in the election's end.
Welcome to The Trend Report™ where you get a capturing of what happened this week.
This week, we run through the inauguration and the idea of new things getting “dropped.” We also take a look at dinosaur buttholes, a man who lived in an airport, and Lil Nas X getting us our stimulus checks (which also have information on aliens).
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Joe Biden was inaugurated this week. He was! If you are aware, skip this section. If you didn’t know that, here’s a sprint through everything that happened.
It was Wednesday, January 20. The day started with a letter Trump left Biden, which the current president described as “generous” while others posited it was the work of a serial killer. This isn’t weird because Trump is the fourth president to boycott an inauguration although he was maybe spotted sniping the ceremony. Vice President Kamala Harris – whose Vogue cover got a new Vogue cover – was sworn in by Justice Sonia Sotomayor, two historic women of color in power, while Biden was sworn in by Justice John Roberts on a family bible, as he plead for unity. There were some great supporting players – Dr. Jill Biden and her quiet revolution of the First Lady! Doug Emhoff, the first Second Gentleman, who shares a historic blended family with Harris! – but people mostly cared about the entertainment, the fashion, and Bernie Sanders. Poet Amanda Gorman read a poem, a breakout moment that the hype machine was ready to amplify, earning her two million followers in hours. Lady Gaga was from the Hunger Games and pleaded for Britney’s freedom. Jennifer Lopez wanted everyone to get loud, bringing Puerto Rican realness that was echoed by a Puerto Rican marching band. Garth Brooks wore jeans. Biden wore a Rolex. And, move over Jonas Brothers, because everyone wore coats! Michelle Obama literally killed everyone. Another style star bloomed, via Harris’ art school stepdaughter: Ella Emhoff and her Miu Miu coat. Space Force was there. But who cares?! Because Bernie became a meme! Which got him to sit in on Red Table Talk and go to Flavortown and be in paintings and R Plus 7 and zine fairs and Steel Magnolias and cat girl memes. He likes the memes too! People loved the meme so much (But some hated it.) that they may have killed the Gmail of the teacher who made his mittens. On the way to work/home – which has a “problematic” Peloton – Biden fist bumped Al Roker. His new office has some great new-old art – but not a bust of Eleanor Roosevelt. He signed many executive orders, including one that outlawed twinks. His inauguration got a lot of views, more than Trump, even though many were that the National Guard were sent to garages. It was good, all in all, even if it’s heralding the latest iteration of neoliberal groundhog day. Just remember: the election is officially over.
And that is how Joe “Gay Ass Middle Name” Biden got inaugurated.
Looking forward, with some looking backward.
Inside the U.S. Capitol at the height of the siege
Every so often, the Washington Post does incredible video reporting where they take as much footage as they can find from an event and analyze it, figuring out what actually happened from multiple points of view. It’s brilliant. This is their analysis of the Capitol siege. It’s the most comprehensive and informative explainer of the event that I’ve seen. After this week, I’ll probably stop sharing any items related to the siege.
VP Harris Swears in 3 Democratic Senators
WE LOVE TO SEE IT
Classified UFO Documents Could Be Released
The Covid relief bill apparently would require the release of literal alien information. Did you hear about this?! I missed this!!!
Charlottesville Inspired Biden. Now It Has a Message.
How the California could shape Biden's policies
A few places that may have influences on Biden’s presidency.
"Biden signed an order...on LGBTQ+ workplace "
"Republican Party now entirely on the outside of power."
Welcome back to the future!
AOC Spent Inauguration Day at a Strike
Supporting workers’ rights and wage increases? Queen.
The Proud Boys Now Mock Trump
As I keep seeing on Tumblr, non-Qanon and extremists are crying and many are lapping up these tears. I wonder what this will yield, as their misplaced frustrations and anger are going to build to something.
"MAGA twitter now belongs to kpop stans"
MORE TEARS TO LAP UP!!!!
Full list of Trump's last-minute pardons
Trump extended Secret Service protection to his adult children
This family will never stop stealing our money!!!!!
"Do you want to keep the Diet Coke button?"
Trump had a Diet Coke button in the Oval Office. Biden had it removed.
Shifts, from science and technology.
Scientist Debunks Myths About Exercise And Sleep
This is interesting, all y’all trying to exercise smarter!
Monarch butterfly population moves closer to extinction
Preserved dinosaur butthole is 'perfect’
The best headline ever published.
Washington state officially begins human composting
I would 10000000% be human composted.
Children’s Screen Time Has Soared in the Pandemic
Your inklings are correct: kids – and adults – are way too immersed in screens.
Instacart is firing every employee who voted to unionize
Lyft test offers drivers more rides for 10% pay cut
These apps are bad and you should not support them!
The war on climate denial has been won.
Canceling election deniers isn’t enough
Shot, chaser. With Biden taking office, there’s a huge sigh of relief regarding climate change. That’s valid! But there is so much work to be done. These two stories seem to occupy the “We did it!” and the “...we got a lot of work to do.” camps. I lean toward the latter.
Electric Cars Are Better for the Planet – and Your Budget
The one car Bobby and I have is not electric. We do not drive it much but stories like this remind why non-electric cars have got to go.
Is it wrong to take advantage of vaccine glitches?
This is a question I keep hearing friends talk about, as a few have been presented with a vaccine opportunity via some organization or disorganization. I say: go for it. Don’t let vaccines go to waste.
Here’s a meme format that everyone has seen but I am flagging here, in case you haven’t seen it and or you are old and don’t get it: “New ______ just dropped.” It has been used with animals and plants and aliens and houses and even presidents.
It’s a simple formula – It’s literally “New ______ just dropped.” – and refers to the hypebeast culture of drops, when a brand, typically shoes, release a new and covetable product that is unlike anything else. This has extended to fashion at large, to the idea of collections dropping and “the drip,” which has become its own meme. “The drip” has ties to rap culture, which refers to a really great looking outfit, which relates to notions of “sauce” and being “dripped in” and one’s “fit.” This turn of phrase does not refer to the other shoe dropping, drops in the bucket or liquids, or any other literal drops. “Dropped” in this form is the long coming evolution of drop culture, a dopamine hitting form of fabricating exclusivity via consumerism. This is why brands like McDonald’s are getting into it.
Anyway, this is why it’s so funny to use “dropped” in relationship to normal sequences of life: no animals or plants or “type of house” is being dropped, suggesting that a maker getting a bit more chaotic than usual. The use of this fashion phrase in popular vernacular speaks to the seeking of novelty, the adding of oddity to normalcy to remind that novelty still exists in a world that is constantly changing.
Cultural shifts, to match contemporary culture.
Man Lived Undetected at O’Hare Airport for 3 Months
And thus begins the “Live In An Airport For 3 Months” TikTok challenge.
Seesaws On U.S. Border Wall Win Prestigious Design Prize
Some light in the dark.
Shutterstock Outlines Emerging Visual Trends for 2021
This is interesting!
What Could Jojo Siwa’s “Born This Way” TikTok Mean?
JoJo Siwa Comes Out as Gay After Viral ‘Born This Way’
After a long time, we have a new gayette.
How to Plan Your Future if You Don’t Have Kids
A story I wrote that I learned a lot while writing it!!!!!!!!!!
An American Influencer In Bali Is Now Being Deported
This story went crazy viral this week and all reminds of a story I wrote last year: living abroad is affordable, yes, but there are so many cultural norms that you do not get a pass for. The behavior here is proof of that.
Start a Virtual Listening Club—It’ll Change Your Life
I want to start a virtual listening club!!!!!
The Deep Sadness of Marvel’s WandaVision
This show is good! And I hate anything Marvel!!!!!!
For More Inclusive Writing, Look to How Writing Is Taught
A book about teaching writing is making people wonder about how we can reform the process of writing (and art) workshops. Can’t wait to read this book!!!!!!
'Drivers License' Launches Atop Both Billboard Global Charts
The song is fine but I can imagine being 14 and LOVING IT. The drama around it is so juicy. This is why the gays on TikTok weren’t into sea shanties: it’s all about “Drivers License” baby!!!!
...but for your mind
Daily Dose of Internet
I love a good curator and this internet video curator on YouTube is a current favorite.
motivational video movie
This isn’t new but it’s cute.
Why Biden earned my vote.
"how boys are introduced in group chats"
I have watched this so many times.
very true :(
"if Marge Simpson was in The Godfather"
This is so good that I just let it play in the background for a good twenty minutes while writing this week’s Report™.
me @ my to do list
Alien Invasion Political Compass
Love an overly specific political compass. Tag yourself.
I’m sure somewhere on the internet someone has a very vibrant portfolio of pornographic Captcha fanfic.
gonna need my oscar for this one
GIVE LIL NAS X HIS OSCAR FOR GETTING US OUR STIMULUS CHECKS
And, finally, me watching you read The Trend Report™ every week.
Next week, we’re talking about the evolution of the YouTuber.