legit praying for protein 💪🫦✝️

On the protein trend as proof of life and a temperature check on Catholicism.

Some quick announcements before we get going —

• This week on 🦿HIP REPLACEMENT🦿 featured J'Nae Phillips where she, Ben Dietz, and I talked Met Gala, the power of cuteness, and what Boomers think of young people. A great convo! Listen on Spotify and YouTube now.

• ICYMI: two new Taste Report™ interviews dropped, about Paris culture and style. One is with fashion journalist and thinker Saveria Mendella — read that here — and one is with writer and interior designer Marissa Cox, which you can read here. Both fab!!

• I made a cameo over on the Selleb Sisters’ Sub this week! What did I buy? Find out here — and don’t @ me that it was Uniqlo! I don’t make that much money, despite what the lying media says about me!!

• My fiction agent Amanda is doing a talk about what the author-agent relationship is like: join if you can! This is particularly great for all you lil writer bbs out there. Speaking of: a new How To Be Creative™ is dropping Tuesday 👀

• The next Trend Report Live™ is June 8 in Barcelona!! This is the day after Primavera ends and the Sunday before Sonar: if you’re coming in town for either, consider this a supercharged happy hour!! RSVP for the event here. It’s been fab!!

…and back to regular programming!

Israel plans to seize Gaza under a new plan
The west’s shameful silence on Gaza
Somehow, in a deeply evil year and time, this redefines evil. Unconscionable.

India Strikes Pakistan but Is Said to Have Lost Jets
Pakistan says no de-escalation with India
A conflict in the hands of two religious strongmen
Fragile ceasefire holds
This story has been up and down — and is quite concerning! Admittedly, I don’t have a full grasp of context but I know it ain’t great, playing on a long history of tension. Jaskaran and I chatted over text earlier this week as he is closer to the subject than I. “The misinformation thing is pretty bad on all sides,” he said. “Like even the most liberal sources have gone all into nationalism mode in India.” TikTok is playing an interesting role too—particularly in Pakistan—as “Bollywood actors celebrated the attack,” he noted, adding “international South Asians are feeling hurt by that celebration. I mean, the Bollywood actors are pretty spineless.” He highlighted a lot of false equivalencies floating around as people in Kashmir suffer, as voices on both sides are being suppressed.

Merz suffers shock in German parliament vote
New Chancellor, in Dramatic Fashion
Clearly this relates to the far right trying to seize power, especially after the recent naming of AfD as an extremist group.

Pope Leo XIV’s political and social views
What should Pope Leo XIV do?
Social media linked to Pope Leo criticized Vance
Why am I internet-stalking the pope?
New Pope Has Creole Roots in New Orleans
”in the field of artificial intelligence”
Pope calls for Gaza ceasefire
Huge time to be Catholic or touching the hem of the church, as we’ll discuss. It was a remarkably quick conclave too, nearly as long as the movie — which even the cardinals were watching! Also: his AI and Gaza tSpecial shoutout to Pope Crave for their on-the-ground coverage not to mention their candidness on Pope Leo. I’m sad this nun, Sister Rose, didn’t become pope. Love her!

Carney to Trump: Canada ‘Is Not for Sale’
Trump: doesn’t know if he needs to uphold constitution
Trump proposes to raise income taxes on wealthy
This guy’s all over the place, not to mention bringing forth not one, not two, but three television and television adjacent figures into the government roles. In any event, get your giggles in on his thoughts about Pete Buttigieg.

Buffett to step down
Bezos to sell up to $4.75bn in Amazon stock
Gates to give away $200B, says Musk is 'killing' poorest children
Big week of billionaires making money moves. Speaking of Musk, even Curtis Yarvin is shitting down his throat. If you want to shit down your own throat, go inside the Texas city Elon owns.

Rodney Hinton Jr. denied bond
"Watch and listen"
A major story as it relates to police brutality and taking action.

2025 is a beefy year which is to say: it’s the year of protein. We’ve got pumped up popcorn and cereal and chocolate and soda that all signals something very clearly: food is one of the best expressions of a lifestyle. There has been story after story after story about protein enriched foods, on how it’s the latest food-health fad in the shape of paleo, keto, low carb, low calorie, etc. — but that conversation really minimizes the grasp of the ‘tein: protein products are a food fad, yes, but also a reflection of shifting ideologies and human behavior. These are accessories to a way of living.

What these products aren’t saying is that we’re fifteen years into social media as we know it now, where everyone is on camera, becoming hyper-image obsessive. Multiply this by techno-enabled “efficiency” culture (Think Soylent and always be optimizing.) and Crossfit culture turned MAHA culture and you see that this sweeps through a swath of people like the sober curious and the anti-vax parents and the perimenopausal persons and the foodie hackers and the literal bodybuilders and well, me and likely you too: “health” is the banner that flies above a trend like protein which, more than its low carb or Ozempic counterparts, means anyone and everyone who wants to treat their body better has an ear bent to the prote’. To be online is to be on the protein dart board! No wonder it’s everywhere. “There’s a generation, particularly young men, and now an increasing number of young women, who are absolutely brainwashed by what they hear online,” a kinesiology professor told Vox. Thus, the success of this trend.

Lifestyle has been one of this decade’s big subjects too as it seems to be what everyone is after, largely in the business world: if your brand can “become a lifestyle” then you’ve successfully made yourself inseparable from the lives of consumers. If you’re a creator or artist or run a newsletter like this, your creation thrives on community, on creating a group of people who have a converted mindset, who live a life requiring your input and output. This is why fashion is becoming food and why every celebrity has a beauty brand and how even the most basic of business enterprises are tapping into ephemera from scents to swag: if you can become a lifestyle, you create a pool of constant subscribers who need to buy, buy, buy to feel whole. I’ve been in the rooms where big brands and television networks trying to craft these lifestyle agendas and, while people may love a product and find things useful, executives forget this vision collapses when a product or service is seen as a culture instead of what it is: a tool in someone’s life. This is how we end up with influencers all wearing the same shit which means normal ass people lose curiosity because they’ve lost a culture of being. You replace life with — What? — a tote bag and expect people to live interesting lives that feed your brand and culture in return? Think again, dumbass.

“Everybody wants to go out but no one really knows what they want to do outside,” Nicolas Cevallos said on 🦿HIP REPLACEMENT🦿 a few weeks back on the subject. “There’s a lack of self-reflection…Brands are going to do running clubs and this and that. There’s a lack of non-branded communities.” I wrote about this in myriad ways in my reflections on Paris, as this ties into how the city has become (or is becoming) a giant TikTok shop, the failures of the Foundation Louis Vuitton, and how the store Merci’s “Everything is lifestyle!” approach means hollowing out the self in the name of your own endless appetite. Blame Jeremy Renner, blame A24: persons and products becoming a “lifestyle” miss the point. Having props to play act life doesn’t make a play: you need the script, you need the actors, you need direction, which a business will never offer. Simply having stuff with your name on it is nothing but shit, further expressions of the rags-as-riches status quo.

That’s why protein is such an interesting case study: the grotesque, Frankenstein products have emerged from people living, from people pursuing. Yes, this “trend” is so ideologically sticky (Ahem, RFK Jr..) but, unlike so many other lifestyle grabs, the protein market emerged and is thriving from human need that is now increasingly one-dimensional and vapid, cannibalized by The Jungle of enterprise. Life cannot and will not emerge only via new candles, new lip glosses, new sneakers, new short form video tech, new streaming series: life only emerges from people being people, from bodies interacting with bodies. To think otherwise is to fall into perhaps the biggest trend of the 2020s: self-dehumanization, as amialivecore means gnashing your teeth against all the vending machines outside your door until you’re forced to remember no treat will take away the pain you’re in.

Lena Dunham on Why She Broke Up with NYC
It Must Be Nice to Be a West Village Girl
Living Rooms of Notable New Yorkers
Big week for New York-stories-about-New York, most of which inspires eye rolling as it’s very Big Apple farts for Big Apple noses to smell. The “power houses” are largely underwhelming — but Chloë Sevigny? Julio Torres? Emily Bode? You better work.

Disney announces a new theme park in Abu Dhabi
Tell me you’re down bad for clout without telling me you’re down bad for clout. They’re seriously calling it “Yas Island” too.

"Rick Moranis discussing his characters"
To that: this Rick Moranis interview is inadvertently a very big statement on the state of Hollywood. Catch the full interview here. Also: adding podcasts to the Golden Globes won’t help, y’all!

Koyo Kouoh: ‘To feel inspired, I go to sleep’
Mati Diop: ‘I dream my films very deep’
Andrea Fraser: ‘Trying to figure out how to fit in’
Michael Swaine: ‘What I learnt from mending’
If you read this newsletter, you know I’m a big FT head. Lots of the lifestyle writing can be eh but they recently had designer Phoebe Philo guest edit HTSI — and I was blown away by the breadth she, et al, covered in the issue. Such thoughtful stories that really wrestle with so many major subjects! The first link, with curator Koyo Kouoh, was so inspiring and got me thinking about alternative belief systems and the joy of Champagne which, if you know me, you know that is a central character accessory. (And, sadly, shockingly, Koyo just died. The story is a great memorial.) Don’t miss Phoebe’s best items to care for your clothes either!

Champagne could reduce risk of cardiac arrest
To the above: I want to believe.

Everyone Is Cheating Their Way Through College
How AI Demand Is Draining Local Water Supplies
AI video for deadly road rage victim statement
These three stories are very uncomfortable, particularly the first one which portends the end of people being able to learn. Yes, doing things without AI can be hard — but are you that willing to give up your intelligence? Or that anti-intellectual? Come on, people. Somehow, this all crashes into the very likely a series of prank posts about AI interviews gone awry, which do relate to a real thing. Don’t get me started on one of my sleep paralysis demons: AI deepfake workers. Anyway, people (gay men) are lusting after the guy from the GTA 6 trailer. Cool!

MIX078 - Pixie (大阪) by 宀 (Mihn Club)
This Is How We Walk On The Moon (LOR Remix)
I didn’t love this Pixie mix but there is an absolutely sublime moment around the twenty minute mark that literally froze me at the gym: an Arthur Russell remix emerges from the fog and is a banger. I believe it’s the linked LOR remix from 2015 or 2016 — but I could be wrong. Either way: it’s so good and applied so well to the mix.

Priests always told me I would become a priest and, for brief moments, I thought they were right. This was always said in a sacristy, typically after mass, as we were disrobing and putting away albs. I wonder if these various priests were saying this because I was always at church, serving at every mass most weekends, or because they sensed a bit of sugar in the tank and knew the church was a good shield for the unmarriable. Unsurprisingly, in sixth grade, I won my church’s religion bee, a spelling bee style contest that was an extension of CCD intended to motivate and excite students. I won a teddy bear with arms and legs longer than mine. In eighth grade, we had to write letters to the bishop of Savanah, Georgia to explain why we were called to be confirmed. If the bishop liked our letter enough, we were told, he would read a passage before the congregation. Only two or three students would receive the honor. “Kyle,” the bishop said, lifting a hand during his homily. I stood, embarrassed, wearing a tan suit I insisted on with a green Liz Claibourne shirt that I also insisted on, which we got at a discount store that aspired to be TJ Maxx but was an even deeper discount alternative. The bishop spoke about my letter before reading a memorable line: “I’m so Catholic I could give a gallon of Catholic to everyone in the world and still have more Catholic left.” The joke killed, sending the congregation and various visiting extended families into hysterics. Including graduate school, I attended twelve schools in my life: seven were Christian, five Catholic. “We always had a big family breakfast,” a friend told me recently of how their family always celebrated Easter. “I was always at church, from Thursday through the afternoon of Sunday,” I said. “I was working, as an altar boy.” There’s no memory of any holiday in my youth where I wasn’t at a church, holding a book above my head for a priest to read or carrying a cross through a cathedral for a process to follow.

At some point during my freshman year of college, all that ended. This was less about abandoning a belief system and more that I was living a life that no longer required weekly pilgrimages which, at that time, meant my walking twenty minutes from my campus to a basilica overlooking I-85 in Atlanta. Sports and theater and waiting tables and parties and school weren’t more important, no, but there was a greater life there for me, greater meaning. Like a song that gets stuck in your head, the beliefs of Catholicism played between my ears well after my departure — and continues to: I didn’t “need” a weekly performance of faith to have it. Ironically, these immediate post-church times were a time of deep prayer for me, as I seemed to always be praying I wouldn’t “end up” gay, that I could successfully ignore whatever questions about myself I had written but refused to read. I transferred out of the school in Atlanta to a Catholic school in DC, specifically to study theater and writing (theater because I wanted to be an actor and writing to promise my parents I would “be a teacher” if my creative future collapsed). I didn’t go to church there but I did work in a Catholic theological library in the basement of the larger library. By the time I left that Catholic school, I came out as gay.

It’s an interesting time to be Catholic, both practicing and in the space that comes after, where people like me exist. Cradle Catholics debate the fanaticism of convert Catholics and how that has dovetailed into nationalism. Catholic aesthetics rise and fall, all underscoring trad Cath debates, which is further underscored by Gen Z’s attraction. Movies like Conclave may be trending but Catholicism and entertainment have always been linked, as hot priests and dubious nuns and monastical antichrists, graphic crucifixions and singing faithful and investigative epics are a trend of human existence playing on centuries of the faith in art. The church moves in glacial time, operating in a way that is measured in centuries, that guides the power of many to its own power, that watches culture while dictating it. In a time of great technology and great interest, it’s unsurprising that an American pontiff has been selected: as is say again and again, America is still that girl and, like a certain church, is a domineering force. Politics are politics, strategies are strategies, no matter who one serves. In a time of spiritual delusions and religious psychosis and faithful exceptionalism, the iron of faith is hot. What are lost sheep if not an opportunity to shepherd? Especially when those sheep are on the most watched reality show of all time.

“We should be organizing,” a friend who went to my same Catholic college said this week. “What are we, who were once Catholic, supposed to be doing with all this?” We were chatting on the first day of the conclave, musing on how such international events trickle down to a college like ours — and how it creates confusing times for the anti-fascist, those who support democracy. They pointed out that, like our lives, the school was changing: it was under strain of a new presidency and changing leadership and students and alumni lacking guidance. We need a concrete movement, a way to put our ideologies and histories to use, the friend stressed. How can we get people of similar beliefs, who have a foot in both worlds, contributing beyond chatter? Its a great question, especially for the many of us who exist in the space after Catholicism. That gallon I have is still full but is now awaiting flowers to fill it, open to the possibility of faith but also understanding of its value with or without blooms, that its a vessel that still fills me too. What would I do without it? "A lack of faith is often tragically accompanied by the loss of meaning in life,” the new Pope said this week. "Help us, and each other, to build bridges through dialogue, through encounter, to come together as one people, always in peace." If we are lucky enough, we’ll understand what to do with those words.

"the sixteenth chapel"
“Monastary of sound”
“had experiences like these”
“before we learn”
“this dude was not”
“NEW POPE ELECTED”
“I’m not being shady”
“He’s gay”
“First pope”
Best pope and general conclave memes (and find more pope memes here). To the second item: the rave pope is actually real, even if the footage is clearly edited.

“Mother Cutrone”
"not f@g……… :/"
“i fucked up”
“This collar”
“Studio apartments”
“fav moment”
“doechii practices KINDNESS”
Best Met Gala memes and posts, which relates to this post that gots people wondering if “twink” is shifting toward a slur. Also: the Met Gala was underwhelming, no? Disappointing, given such a great theme — and such times. I was talking to a friend last night who brought up how it was a massive missed opportunity for political action, to use such a stage to more vocally support Black Americans. Alas. Clearly being rich is out.

“industry plant meme”
“millennial humor overnight”
The backlash to the Italian Brain Rot meme says a lot about the adoption of memes born purely of AI. Even Skibidi Toilet required some human creativity!

“Mediterranean Sea”
“EA Sports it’s in the game”
“Lebron James”
There’s a guy on TikTok who is trying to learn how to speak backwards (but is largely speaking with a Russian accent).

“some of my fav comics”
“first real TikTok post”
“making colorful comics”
The Beetlemoss comics got me through the week.

“See you next week”
“beginning of Rack City”
“Put a finger down”
“I hate surprises”
Not one, not two, not even three, but four tooty and booty posts I loved this week.

And, finally, a peek at me when I was at my most Catholic.

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