just kill Twitter already 🙄

Quick thoughts on the dumb new "Twitter killer" and on a trend of overly fancy jeans.

Earth Keeps Breaking Temperature Records
July 4 was Earth's hottest day since records began
Climate ‘out of control’ after hottest week on record
:(

Fagradalsfjall: Quakes Continue, Eruption Likely
"high probability of volcanic eruption"
There have been lots of earthquakes in Iceland, which seems to signal an incoming volcanic eruption.

Emergency responders mull Twitter limits
Twitter blocks tweets from showing in Google Search
Twitter silently removes login requirement for viewing tweets
Some stories from the fallout of the Twitter dissolving.

Inside Reddit's path to an IPO
Public web unravels in AI-driven storm
AMAs are casualty in Reddit’s API war
I mostly missed this in the Twitter hullabaloo but: Reddit is in a similar position, basically shifting to a husk of what it once was. More proof that modern social is very dead! Welcome to the afterlife!!

Substance found at White House tests positive for cocaine
lmao I hope whoever was bumping at the White House had a good July 4!!

Trump posted what he said was Obama's address
Anyway, back to regular programming: a former president, in a post to the social media platform that they made, sharing the address of another former president, which inspired a follower to go to said location with guns. Cool!

Critics slam DeSantis for anti-Trump ad targeting LGBTQ
…and DeSantis did a really bad gigachad video. He wants what Paul Gosar has!! So desperate!!!

Americans Are Working Fewer Hours
Dow closes more than 300 points lower
Two funny metrics about the economy and employment: first, hours worked, which are apparently down, means things are “healthy” or that we’re about to dive into more layoffs; second, jobs data looking “better-than-expected” somehow means…the economy is in a “bad” place. Silly!!

The Mysterious Case of the Fake Gay Marriage Website
Man cited in LGBTQ rights case was never involved
A lot has been said and written about the really stupid businesses-can-now-discriminate Supreme Court ruling, but the one that’s most interesting to me is that…the information around the case was inaccurate. The gay person in question was actually straight! And didn’t request a website!! This was all based on nothing reall!!!

Who is Threads for?

The Instagram “Twitter killer,” which follows Twitter killer Spill and Twitter killer Bluesky and Twitter killer Mastodon, already has 95 million posts and 30 million profiles. It could kill Twitter, but instead is just going to make Twitter more niche and so that every community has their own Twitter. Threads is doing a good enough job that they are apparently getting sued, which is the lamest cagematch alternative. So again: who is Threads for?

Here are my theories.

• Brands who are now scared of Twitter. Threads is going to be the internet’s mall. You go there to see the stores and dodge kiosks, who were friends from high school. And who else?

• People who never used Twitter and only used Instagram (who find a text-based feed novel). Which is to say: anyone who was Instagram-only. Most parents, most people in non-social or non-tech fields, anyone who thought Twitter was dumb: enough time passed where these people can enter this space and find this to be something completely new. It’s more of the same, for the internet literate. But for those who were intentionally or unintentionally on the outside? It’s the hot new thing.

• (Gen I) Creators. Building from the first two items, the seamlessness of Instagram-to-Threads cross-sharing will eventually make the platform very appealing for creators hoping to get eyes on their content. While, yes, Instagram captions do the advertising, there will be a time when the text-based post on Threads will ultimately serve to promote the Reel or in-feed IG post. It’s a mirror reflecting upon itself. Creators will love to try to get people to look at the mirror with them. Older, 2010s creators will find this especially useful as their audience(s) are Threads’ most likely users.

• Soft-brained non-posters. Threads will not be and is not the internet. Like malls now, it’s vacant: it is a sanitized liminal space, where brands can regurgitate old content to those who are none the wiser. It is hollow and soulless. It is for those who do not post and who are content scrolling through the bargain basement of content.

So why do we even have Threads then? Because the metaverse flopped and Mark Zuckerberg needed something to cannibalize. It’s not that deep and I’m sorry I have to share this. Ironically, Threads is just going to…eventually recreate Facebook, by allowing more Instagram integration for people to share their visual posts there. Welcome to another example of carcinization.

Fans Demand ‘The Idol’ (Amy Seimetz’s Version)
"couldve had iconic 2000s pop star"
"those cutouts"
I could give a shit about The Idol (Actually: I’m intrigued. I love mess.) but the “Amy’s Version” has me very piqued. Seemed like a gay fever dream!!

‘Indiana Jones’ Misses Estimates
This is so flop. Literally! I think the thing here, as Simone Umba said on TikTok, is that every movie is now poised to be “a blockbuster” which means none will be. In the age of too much content, movies and Hollywood need to scale back. There are too many choices so people are making none.

Keke Palmer Shamed By Boyfriend
Keke Palmer speaks out 
" IM A MOTHA, through and through!"
The Keke Palmer boyfriend saga was wild, given that…he logged on to slut shame her?? Okay, loser. Keke has yet to comment directly, but she did post more of the dress in question along with a post about being a mother. Says it all, boyfriend!!

Ethel Cain on fans, fainting and being ‘Miss Alt-Pop Star’
A very good feature on internet icon and alt star Ethel “Gen A’s Lana” Cain. I love her, even if I don’t love-love her music.

MSG Sphere in Las Vegas covered in swirling lava
Here’s the Deal With Las Vegas’ Psychedelic Orb
Is This Orb the Future of Live Music?
Has everyone seen this wild sphere in Las Vegas? I can’t tell you if it’s “the future of music” but I can tell you it is very cool and disorienting (and, if it is used for ads, it will be a nightmare). It seems like the American version of that Japanese 3D billboard!!

Inappropriate? Rincon Subway sign pokes fun at sub implosion
I, for one, think the Subway should keep the sign up. But alas!

"cameraman was hit in the head"
"Yankees announcer John Sterling got hit hard"
I don’t care or watch sports but…are the Yankees okay? Is this a psyop to get people to watch the sport? (Anyway, one of the players has a big pp.)

This week was couture week in Paris. A lot happened, but we let’s talk about the jeans.

Balenciaga showed a lot of interesting things (Like a 3D-printed armor dress!) but most notably showed $27K jeans that weren’t jeans: they hand-painted linen made to look like worn denim. Happening across town at Valentino, Cindy Crawford’s daughter Kaia Gerber opened the show wearing jeans – but not just any jeans: they were beads set in a pattern to look like jeans. Similarly, Jean Paul Gaultier also beaded jeans. It was all about the trompe-l'œil.

(Notably, last year Mattieu Blazy’s Bottega Veneta featured distressed jeans that were actually worn leather. And we can’t forget drag queen Symone’s 2022 Drag Race finale outfit which featured thousands of Swarovski diamonds, which cost her $30K.) 

This is cool! These are articles of clothing that should be common but are elevated to the highest degree. But this also highlights something that is both amazing and awful about fashion right now: in the most luxury space, where we’re supposed to see the most creative of clothes, we got jeans. Reinventions, reimaginings, sure but there’s this feeling that an entire industry is bored, running out of material, and generally exhausted by the prospect of rethinking what could the next jean be. When given the opportunity to do something new, you make…jeans? Okay.

It plays into the larger issue that I have been repeating again and again, week after week: there’s too much content. We don’t need more jeans! Even if these are, say, grand commentary on waste, they are still parroting the problem by making common workwear unnecessarily elitist. This happened in other ways too – I loved Viktor & Rolf’s breakup couture swimwear (Helllllooo, Shakira!!) but this did nothing as far as pushing needles – and all suggests that we’re hitting a ceiling, of both creativity and caring. You mean to tell me these couture shows sent out jeans set against the backdrop of national unrest regarding the country’s inability to address racism, inequality, and police brutality? That’s what they literally did.

Are the jeans good? Yes. They are quite cool! But, in the age of techno-disaster-capitalism, putting fancy jeans down a runway, modeled by nepotism babies is…a choice. It’s very much hoping that the people at home enjoy eating their cake.

"look at this big aegol"
“making a cringey tee”
“boring”
“it’s her day”
Some great July 4 posts, the last of which is an all time classic that I am glad to see back.

“she looks like”
“she kinda looks”
The what-Florence-Pugh-looks-like from couture week posts were great. (Also I realized this week: calling her “Ms. Flo” in 2023 is one of the most Millennial things someone could do.)

“love a good neighbor dispute”
Homeowner cut down 32 of his neighbor’s trees
Some good warring neighbor content, about a dumbass who removed another neighbor’s trees…and now ostensibly owes more than a million dollars.

“losing my mind at this llama”
More livestock in weddings please.

“pigeon pigeon”
Kylie continues to win the song of the summer allegations.

“Hell nah”
Disgusting jumpscare related to bugs.

“slime themed Hall & Oates”
Play me that slime song, boys!

“to slow down the aging process”
Girl..you are a teen.

“CAUSE I’M A CREPE”
I can’t think of anything more Euro-coded than this.

"a piece of grilled"
I am a simple person. I just need a good edit of Paula Deen talking about excrement.

"this video a scammer sent me"
Lost count of how many times I’ve watched this “real person.”

And, finally, how I feel when I write this newsletter in public.

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