BatSHIT BateMAN
On how a fictional man has become inspo, fitspo, lifespo, etc. for men these days and on the art of pivoting to conservatism.
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Fighting resumed in Gaza with 'full force'
Death Toll Tops 700 in 3 Days
Israeli strikes add to soaring child death toll
What more is there to say? This is evil. Meanwhile, the EU is arming up. Nationalism begets nationalism, etc.
The Democrats must make a choice
Dem favorability drops to a record low
Obama, One of the Worst Ex-Presidents Ever
Gavin's podcast - Presidential or empire?
“This democracy could be gone.”
We’ve reached the do-or-die moment of the Dem lifecycle and, sadly, they’re choosing death — save for AOC and Bernie. But fuckass Chuck Schumer? Oh he grabbed a noose this week. Infuriating! Like…y’all: get on channeling the very clear anger manifesting at townhalls.
137 immigrants deported under Alien Enemies Act
ICE violated rights of a US citizen
‘Segregated’ no longer explicitly banned
Judge blocks Trump’s order banning trans troops
Judge orders DOGE to stop dismantling USAID
What can be done if Trump openly defies courts?
Is Donald Trump above the law?
As the defanged Dems squander a moment, the increasing meaningless of the courts was a huge trend as many muse what it means for Trump to ignore legal rule, all despite John Roberts putting his foot down. Meanwhile, applications to law schools are up as we creep toward whatever the fuck Turkey is doing.
Tesla stock tumbles
BYD’s 5-minute charge
Chinese Cars Are Taking Over Roads
Tesla's Self-Driving Fails Wile E. Coyote Test
"blaming youtubers for the fall of $TSLA"
Fall of Tesla? Good. Re-rise of Twitter? Bad.
Scientist Jailed for Gene Hacking Babies
"I will not do life extension"
Don’t like this! As we talked about in 2023, we’ve entered the era of high-tech baby play creating bioethical honey traps. And, to the point of the second post, billionaires are gonna use this shit to further oppress.
Carbon in atmosphere reaches 800K-year high
One Devastating Storm System
News from the climate collapse frontlines.
At this point, you’ve seen the video of the fitness creator’s and his psychotic morning routine. Right? Well, it has over 500 million views on Twitter.
He — Ashton Hall — squats on his balcony at 4AM, floats for minutes, wears dainty bracelets, heterosexually eats a banana, rubs peels on his face, repeatedly dunks his face in water, all while pushing the Miami/Atlanta opulent water of choice, Saratoga, before “getting at least 10,000” of whatever it is he rise and grinding for, all while literally being served hand and foot like a giant fucking toddler: it is psychotic. Less that one is committing to the body and soul but that this is a secular monk performing the idea of fitness, a rise-and-grinder getting off on his own image in the name of “monk mode.” It rightfully inspired parodies, dramas, and more examples of his insanity, highlighting how this is hardly a “this guy” problem and more a modern, post-incel, post-Andrew Tate type. Crypto spewing, advice vomiting, weird ass schedule having, servant simping, Sephora kid-ing, growth in the service of self-fellating, stay grinding but get-rich-quick shilling, mega insecure loser core. I don’t need to tell you this but this is what a decade of lusting after American Psycho looks like: Patrick Bateman as the everyman. The results are deranged, literally and metaphorically. They’re even doing facial ice plunges! Divas!!!
It’s strange that we’ve replaced Christ figures with fictional serial killers who physically satirzed an era and nation’s problems. This is made stranger by aesthetics and technology rising to meet these neo-Patricks: podcasts as patriarchy; enacting big and small tortures for views; a deep desire to sell out however you can in one’s billionaire conquest; overly categorized lives suggesting opulence but revealing consumerism; thin post-Dynasty big blonde, over-full, Mar-a-lago female and male; the male gaze now dictated by camera lens; the Tesla Truck multiplied by Kardashian style antics to make robots "sexy"; the reemergence of suits and shoulder pads and furs and boom boom or whatever on recent runways. The 1980s are alive and well, as I’ve been joking about with friends for months as, clearly, the 2020s are both that-time and now but also the 1930s. “Why don't you wear a suit?” some MAGA chud recently asked Zelensky. “You're at the highest level in this country's office, and you refuse to wear a suit.” Psycho respectability! Cue the chainsaw! Cue the suits!
Why Patrick Bateman? Why now? First: nostalgia, both for power aesthetics and for Y2K shit. Next, everyone’s broke, lusting to be rich as they peacock sexuality while being deeply sexless. There’s also a mechanical elephant stomping around: algorithms where the loudest voice wins, where views and like counts are akin to the value of voice, enabling the “everyone wants a village doesn’t want to be a villager” mentality despite dissolving any sense of individuality, as all of these men look the same and act the same. As pointed out so sagely in a conversation we had this week, “The squad got broken by algorithms and generalisation of individual behaviours”: Patrick Batemancore is an algorithmic expression. Then, there’s the cloud elephant: AI, which allows the seamless expression of the one-man-army, the huckster who can crank crud for cash. Patrick Batemancore and AI are perfect mutual masturbators: empty in mind, swole with content, using the weapons of others to advance an empty mission. “It's not merely that AI images are easier to generate: I think there's a genuine sense of aesthetic connection between this population and AI generated imagery,” Big Joel explained a few months back of the right wing AI appeal. “Maybe it's that it expresses a certain kind of cynicism or apathy…It's art that emerges through the logic of a Tweet. It's art that doesn't give a fuck.”
Yes, people are aspiring to be Musk/Trump/Bezos/Zuck (via Jalen Noble, who originated this day-in-the-life style) but it’s so telling that we’ve gotten to this moment holding hands with a killer, hence why a show like Adolescence is getting so much attention. It says a lot! About what? The depravity of these times, of men, but also another literacy failure. There’s a lot of talk now of the need for fiction now, about how reading is needed more than ever as fiction increases empathy and understanding while fosters intelligence. Yet, here we are, debating if men are reading enough fiction as they jizz in journals and read slop. “Today's audiences have reverted to conservatism to a good degree,” Daniel Quinn recounted in the foreword of his philoso-fiction classic Ishmael. “They are more interested in practical subjects than esoteric subjects. Hence, the modern reader is far more likely to purchase a computer book or something that offers practical advice than a work which — evidently like mine — deals with more arcane subject matter.” This is to say: these are times not to imagine a better world for all but to erect yourself. A better body. A bigger bank account. An ego so inflated it could kill.
Housekeeping!!!!
Trend Report Live™ is a week from today!!! If you’re in Barcelona, we’ll be talking trends and drinking wine. It’ll be cute! A few tickets are left: grab one now!!!!
ICYMI: and I had a great talk about the creator economy. Check it out!
I chatted with over at about the end of trends and having a relationship with your clothes. Two of my fave subjects!
The new HIP REPLACEMENT podcast with has as a guest, where we talk “micro” retirements and James Bond saving masculinity. Catch it on Spotify or YouTube!
PARIS: SAVE THE DATE!! and I will be in town for ~my birthday~ and my birthday wish is to meet you all!! We’re thinking April 27, wine somewhere cute, likely in the 11th or somewhere thereabouts. Or…you locals let us know where we should have it! Merci goku, y’all!!
Now back to regular trendy programming, angels 😘
Bigger is not better, free admission costs less
Sorry to LACMA but this report on the state of museums is fascinating — and seeks to suck the capitalist venom out of institutions, ironic given this is from a museum owned by Wal-Mart undergoing an expansion.
Bobby Hundreds Has a Big New Job at Disney
…AND THE KIDULTS GO WILD!!!!!
US shoppers cut spending
DoorDash Partners with Klarna for Deferred Payments
Prints are experiencing new levels of popularity
Conan will return to host the 2026 Oscars
Nikki Glaser to Return as Host for Golden Globes
'Joker,' 'Matrix' producer files for bankruptcy
Literal and spiritual recession indicators everywhere you look.
Pedro Pascal in Apple’s AirPods
"Spike Jonze is so washed"
Clearly Spike has pivoted to video for some time but: Apple, you can’t gripe about losing a billion on something like Severance when your ass is doing this.
"He is not down for a lavender marriage"
"y'all saying 'lavender marriage'"
"y'all ever do a lavender marriage?"
"find a partner for a lavender marriage"
"what a lavender marriage was for"
Not to say “The Trend Report™ is Trend Reporting™” but I keep seeing chatter about lavender marriages and I want to just point out: we talked about this a year ago this week, as the dating apps killed “love” and people would rather marry gay besties.
Bella Ramsey Opens Up
Smerz - You got time and I got money
My Cool Friend Michelle
Three items that brought me joy this week: Bella looking incredible for Vogue and the story’s pretty good too; Smerz — who I never was crazy about, despite the NewJeans connection — made the most mesmerizing song ostensibly about being horny in southern California; and Mara Wilson’s eulogy of Michelle Trachtenberg is inspiring and precious. *sobbing* Stream Harriet The Spy 🥺
People do wild things for fame, which I’ve been lucky enough (?) to observe up close. First — as embarrassing as it is to admit — I was an actor, meaning I suffered many desperates. Example: I hosted a tiny successful queer comedy show in late aughts LA. A thirsty actor kinda begged to co-host after our having a one person show class together, she assuring me she was bi. It made sense to include her! Cut to a few years later, where I get a random message requesting the “removal” of the Vimeo of the show because she “looked crazy.” Hmm. The lavender things you do for attention! As embarrassing as the acting years were, I wouldn’t be a writer or have this newsletter if I didn’t have experiences as such: a reminder that everything happens for a reason.
Second, I worked was as a producer in various forms for a decade plus, for networks like NBC and Nickelodeon, often in reality. Obviously reality television attracts delulus pining for attention, for validation, for anyone to see them and call them special. Case in point: 2013’s Styled to Rock, a Bravo show I worked on as the social media producer (lol) where I helped the cast document their experiences online. It was obvious that these weren’t a talented bunch save for two: Sergio Hudson, the winner, who is arguably one of the best reality successes, and Laura Petrielli-Pulice, who is maybe the world’s best latex artist. The rest were desperate, like an SF designer who finagled a way into Project Runway three years later and a circus performer who basically made circus clothes. The top prize in this delulu category was Andre, an abrasively gay designer with astringent taste. He didn’t make it far — but it was clear he would do anything for attention, which in a pre-social world saw many aspiring narcissists like him competing for reality castings, all exaggerated by the universe of LA unknowns who moved to pursue a dream but, at some point, become so desperate that they’d do anything to put a star in their eyes. So…where is Andre now? Successfully getting dope hit after dope hit as he pivoted to MAGA, where he’s flourished less not for aesthetics but for fashion MAGA stunts for the wives of dictators, positioning him as one of the many Mar-a-Lago court jesters.
This, funny enough, represents a great litmus test of our times: you want attention, you want fame — but at what cost? Are you willing to, um, work hard and challenge yourself despite failures, despite being told again and again that you’re “not right” for whatever reason? Or are you going to cave, shaving off certain beliefs or points of view, sharpening your resentments to shiv those who blocked the dream you were chasing? What ideologies are you willing to sell out for attention? Obviously the latter is increasingly appealing in our panoptic, everything-is-entertainment world where a Frankenstein disaster of fame whoring has stained politics: this is a tale as old as time, where aspiring creatives pivot to dictator out of failure. Screenwriter Ben Shapiro, fashion-and-not journalist Candace Owens, producer, screenwriter, and literal mascot Steve Bannon, SNL‘s Meghan McCain, model Ivanka Trump, actor Christian Walker, bohemian art Californian Tucker Carlson, radio DJ Rush Limbaugh: the list goes on and on in these times, strange cultural coincidences born of rejections by creative worlds and or “liberal” spaces that challenged otherwise normal people to rise but, instead, they caved, finding themselves embittered and enraged, a bone stuck in the teeth to pick out for the rest of their lives as they sing to whomever will reward them for their song. But are they really failures then? The lame duck is a silly rabbit depending on the point of view.
From wannabe actors pivoting to becoming drag queens to wannabe actors turning into right wing talking heads to wannabe cultural elites elected as right wing presidents, it’s all the same behavior and may be a gesture of the decade. Creative or not, this highlights how our times are deeply situated in constant rejection. Did my post get enough likes? Did my short story get accepted? Did I get that job? Did someone tell me I was pretty? Did my team win? No, no, no, no, no: always no. This is less about negative reinforcement but more about a yes/no, good/bad binary that posits rejection as the failure of the self versus infrastructural powers flexing limits. Look no further than Gen Z, who calcified the same rejections by systems that Millennials faced by seeking to become the system instead of change it, turning into an ideologically incel generation. And what of it? What of the Andres and the Steve Bannons and the Zoomers? There’s nothing really “to do” as we can fantasize about bringing down the walls of gatekept systems but, here, in reality, that will never happen. New Hitler aspirants will be born to reinforce the gates all due to artistic rejections, their validation being rebuffed: this is literally how we ended up with the terror that is JD Vance. Read Tony Tunlathimutte’s Rejection, dismantle big and small star systems, celebrate the little creatives instead of the big ones. People need to learn that not-getting-a-trophy isn’t dehumanizing but a reason to appreciate what you have. Then again, never know which slight will spawn a fascist political movement.
“Penelope in the Odyssey”
“Pride and Prejudice”
"freakum jorts"
"STOP KILLING US"
“Not even looking”
“brother sent me this”
“Rosalina is”
“Let’s all shave”
Support a queer person and like these posts. (And, because I don’t know where to put this, but this take on Jonathan Majors’ headshot made me cackle.)
“guy who makes $30K”
"the one outing"
“my linkedin inbox”
“No one knows”
”will there still be spreadsheet”
“progressive slave owner”
Reflections of work now, some of which skewers Dem cultural aesthetics 🤭
“women make me”
The worst song you will ever hear and, yes, it’s from TikTok by a Patrick Bateman. While we’re here, this is a final male kiddult boss that definitely should inspire tears.
“giving this”
“New Jedi Order”
Can someone tell me the name of this genre of images? I like to think it’s something like “pre-Photoshop digital pee soup.”
“listen to the rain”
Who’d like a cursed hug?
“she is a durational performance artist”
A Tweet of the year and the best take on Meghan Markle.
“a minion sits you down”
I been saying more bosses need to speak Minionese.
And, finally, me when I pee pee and poo poo when someone mentions AI.
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All the music videos are going 80s now, too, even including the bad VHS drop-outs, NTSC color glitches, 4x3 aspect ratio and the video effects! It's all back!