Welcome to The Trend Report: Business Editionâ˘, a midweek look at top stories, trends, and more of whatâs happening online and off by Kyle of The Trend Reportâ˘. Today, weâre exploring a fascinating new study on pleasure, a wild Chinese blockbuster, the emergence of a new right wing pipeline, Tung Tung Sahurâs latest adventure, and pervy Uncle Greg having another moment.
đ˛ Tech Talk: Is surveillance so bad that it ruined sex?
We are all very familiar with how surveillance culture has infiltrated our lives, from products like pervy Meta glasses to all seeing Flock eyes, the aesthetics of Ring cameras to that watching-at-you-from-above editorial fashion trend, but I want us to zoom out (Or in?) and consider how we are manifesting these sensations in our bodies, both in private and public. How does being under constant surveillance affect us whilst intimate? How often do you find yourself feeling like youâre starring in your own Truman Show, shifting for the benefit of an unseen (and nonexistent) audience? I know you, like me, find yourself adjusting for the eye of this non-existent camera given years of the cameraâs gaze, but there seem to be many more ways weâre consciously (or not) manipulating and changing our behavior as something rots inside of us. All of this â and more â came directly to mind given new findings from experimental dating app HUD, who conducted a âpleasure censusâ of over 2000 people worldwide, majority of whom are Gen Z. Their findings fit into many narratives we know (people having less sex, our miscommunication state) that are wrinkled by some interesting observations (despite less sex people want more sex than theyâre having, lying about pleasure in sex), some of which highlight how surveillance culture in this era is coming for sexual relations. This is all I could think about in reviewing findings like â29% stay quiet in bed to avoid âruining the momentââ and â73% of Gen Z say concern about their appearance makes sex harder to enjoyâ and â most crucially â â54% of Gen Z catch themselves performingâ while masturbating. Weâve gone beyond fear of cringe to failure to launch sexually due to panopticism, which is very concerning. Curious to learn more about all of this and the culture of Gen Z intimacy issues, I asked a few questions of HUDâs sex and dating expert, Katie Dissanayake. Hereâs what she had to say â
How does âsolo performanceâ tie into Gen Z fears of being cringe, surveillance, etc.?
Gen Z is the first generation to grow up with so much of their lives captured, shared, and reacted to in real time. Theyâre incredibly aware of how theyâre perceived, even when there isnât a camera there. That creates an âalways-onâ feeling.Our findings suggest that this sense of performance may be following people into their most private moments, including solo pleasure. If youâve spent your whole life thinking about how you look, how you sound, whether something is cringe, or how something is perceived, it makes sense that it can be difficult to completely switch that awareness off in the bedroom. This also speaks to nearly a third choosing to stay quiet in the bedroom. Sometimes we can be so focused on having sex the âright wayâ that weâd rather stay quiet than risk ruining the moment, instead of communicating what could make it better.
What are we to make of solo pleasure rising as intercourse seems to drop?
While it can be perceived that way, I do think it more accurately shows how much people value pleasure and how theyâre finding different ways to access it. Solo pleasure gives people a way to explore what they like on their own terms, without the logistical complications or the need to navigate anyone elseâs needs. Partnered sex asks more of us: time, communication, vulnerability, and those can make things more complicated.While 80% of respondents told us they arenât having as much sex as theyâd like, the number of respondents who engage in solo pleasure at least weekly is close at 79%. That tells me that the desire for sex and pleasure hasnât disappeared. It may be that solo pleasure is more accessible when things like busy schedules, finding a partner, relationship dynamics, or difficulty communicating can get in the way. Rather than a recession in desire, we may be seeing a gap between the sex people want to be having and the sex theyâre actually able to have.
Whatâs your advice for young people in approaching sex now?
The biggest thing young people can give themselves is permission to stop having the ârightâ kind of sex. There isnât one trick to having a perfect sex life, and what feels fulfilling for one person might look completely different for someone else.Young people have so much more information about sexuality than ever before, but theyâre also navigating sex alongside social media, dating apps, porn, AI, and more. It can create a lot of expectations around sex that are simply not true.
Iâd encourage people to reconnect with seemingly basic ideas: What do I want? What are my boundaries? Can I communicate those things with my partner? Good sex isnât about performing correctly. Itâs about being present enough to understand yourself and comfortable enough to communicate with someone else.
Why am I sharing this? Because we really must recognize that surveillance and the politics of consent so much more than Meta glasses: privacy and the ability to âbe yourselfâ is indeed becoming more and more illusory, even when weâre alone or trying to be âin our bodies.â How can we create privacy again, both in personal and intimate relationships but also in the spaces between brands and people? How can we do this for ourselves? Iâd posit a great way âbackâ is defaulting to less tech-y sexual items (erotic writing, pictures instead of video) and applying intercourse with a no-phone-or-mirror rule, to avoid distractions and prevent literal navel gazing that reinforces the ârightâ type of intimacies. Breaking down this binary of right-and-wrong is a key to finding our way back to humanity. This obviously relates to the trend of brands selling the idea of privacy, which wouldnât be a thing if we didnât make space to be more human. This is a new frontier, and clearly one to invest in.
