TR.BIZ: 3.31.2026
From casino butter to catching print, this is your early-mid-week check-in ✨
Welcome to The Trend Report: Business Edition™, a midweek look at top stories, trends, and more of what’s happening online and off by Kyle of The Trend Report™. Today, we’re talking No Kings, the end of Sephora kids, the French show with good lighting, annual event scams, and what the new “it” bag may be.
🏛️ Politicultural: Enough with No Kings
This No Kings stuff is making me crazy. The first time? Damn. People are fired up! Second time? Okay, that’s cool. Kamala’s husband was there! What’s with his sign? Third time? This is a parade of performative politics that encapsulates why the Democrats have lower cultural favorability than AI. The main takeaway from this past weekend’s event was that we gotta do more to “match” the current political crises of 1.) an international conflict and 2.) an energy crisis and 3.) a government shutdown and 4.) a whole ass cross-party child rape situation, all amidst the other shit that has been shitting since the start of last year, because a biannual anger parade on a Saturday between 10AM and 2PM isn’t enough. Is it good that people are mobilized? Yes. But what is mobilization without actual pressure? Meaning: these protests look increasingly stupid when compared to the lives-on-the-line literal fighting the people of Minneapolis did for a month(s), which had them marching on Targets and interrupting church. When we look back at this year, what happened in Minneapolis will get a chapter in the history book, a battle in a larger war modern war. But No Kings? There might be a photo, as a part of a paragraph dedicated to the evolution of “protest.” It will be forgotten because it feels increasingly like a re-share to your Instagram Story about something happening in Gaza or Ukraine or Iran: holding up a catchy sign as you swipe away to something else. Are there worse things one can do? Sure, like nothing, which gets how even this critique is criticizing ineffectiveness over inaction. Is the Instagram Storification of politics meaningless? Yes, in that it does nothing in the moment, but no, in that three years later from said Story-posting -through-it the American mood has shifted drastically on something like Gaza. That isn’t to say “that” is a solution but instead that success comes from constant pressure, that performative resistance will always exist but turning up the volume and discomfort is key to amplifying anger and outrage. Why not march every weekend? Every day? Why not boycott work for a week? All year? Why not stop spending on literally anything indefinitely? Why not go to ICE facilities and break the doors down? Being “convenient” has to be decoupled with “the pursuit of progress” because all of this is giving Amazon Prime for changemaking, ideological sloth that dreams small and gets small returns. Why don’t we get more tactical and target AIPAC and the AI lobbies and the Democratic establishment who are doing not much amidst these crises? March on them too! And you, larger Dem establishment, want us to stand and clap as Gavin Newsom pledges allegiance to Israel at the same time that we’re sending troops into this fight? Good luck. This is less a critique of the willingness and wanting for change and more the medium that the message is attached to: we have to put more than our comfort on the line. Even Iran is making fun of us. (Read further on this feeling from Doc Adam - Against Confusion, whose on-the-ground analysis is much better than this paltry attempt lol)
🗺️ Localized: Italy wants to kill Sephora kids
Remember the Sephora kids? They might be increasingly endangered, as brands like Drunk Elephant are avoiding them as people are getting uncomfortable with the idea of a four year old needing skincare. These concerns are coalescing in places like Italy where regulators are coming for LVMH and Sephora for marketing to kids. “The companies failed to correctly indicate that the cosmetics sold by Sephora and Benefit Cosmetics were not intended for children and adolescents and, instead, encouraged their purchase through covert marketing strategies, involving young micro-influencers,” FT quoted the regulator, citing that, “the unaware, frequent and combined use of a wide range of cosmetics by minors could have potentially harmful effects on their health.” The problematic (and capitalist) ties aren’t new, but legal action like this feels parallel to the recent rash of social media lawsuits and actions to protect kids. This is a story to watch as it highlights the uncomfortable creep of “adult activities” into all spaces but may inevitably be another Meta, Google, etc. issue given a similar effort in California was recently axed — and likely is kicking the can around the area of the FTC and social media. Stay tuned, as what happens in Italy will likely ripple.
👠 Aesthetically Pleasing: Casting the new it bag
